BE3DEXOD was trying to get Perseus Parker the best Griefmas gift and this is what he came up with. Enjoy this email he was kind enough to let me publish.
[ 2013.12.17 03:28:33 ] Bane Cortex > Merry Christman Persues
[ 2013.12.17 03:02:12 ] Horyuu > Merry Christmas Perseus!!! (mother fucker) =P
[ 2013.12.17 03:02:19 ] Dash Auduin > MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS PERSEUS YOU BASTARD :d
[ 2013.12.20 04:03:27 ] Koston Eld > merry christmas persus and i hope you die in fire
Merry Christmas Perseus!
When I first got you for the Secret Santa I really had no idea what I wanted to get you. The wishlist I was given was “Stolen Tengu with the original owner’s name, a Claymore and nude pics”. Stealing things isn’t exactly my specialty, so I went and talked to Xui about it and he informed me that you had already stolen a Tengu after you made your list. I really didn’t think nude pictures of myself would make a very good Christmas gift for anyone, and I didn’t want to be uncreative and just buy you a Claymore. With no options left from your list and no good ideas on what to get you, I decided trying to think of ideas was too much effort, and instead I went to go steal some ore from miners.
After an hour or two of nothing interesting happening, I stole some from a Hulk and one of his corpies showed up in a Navy Raven and immediately attacked me. My Tristan’s 5 Warrior II’s weren’t enough to break his tank, but he couldn’t kill me either, and he couldn’t escape. So I decided to just keep him pointed at the belt for a while to see what I could get out of him.
After about half an hour of not getting anywhere at all, I decided to start bluffing (kinda).
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:12 ] BE3DEXOD > Well, do you want to negotiate your release before I bring some friends to help me fit neuts and scan you to find your resist hole?
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:22 ] flathlana > ok how much
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:27 ] flathlana > for my retardedness
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:36 ] BE3DEXOD > Start making offers
(I should note that I almost never name my own price when asking for ransoms. I like to test them to see what they are willing to pay.)
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:41 ] flathlana > 100 mill
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:42 ] BE3DEXOD > I really don’t know what I want
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:53 ] BE3DEXOD > But I really want a CNR kill so there’s that
[ 2013.12.14 07:18:51 ] flathlana > 200 mill?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:02 ] BE3DEXOD > Omen a friend of yours?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:13 ] flathlana > yes to be honest
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:23 ] flathlana > 200 mill?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:45 ] flathlana > you walk away happy
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:51 ] flathlana > i get the rest of my night back
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:54 ] flathlana > save some ammo
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:10 ] BE3DEXOD > Well, I won’t be happy walking away unless the ISK is worth passing up a Navy Raven kill.
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:26 ] flathlana > how much do u want?
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:56 ] flathlana > 400 mill is highest i will go
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:02 ] flathlana > pure isk
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:05 ] flathlana > and u have a story
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:17 ] flathlana > of great victory XD
400m was definitely a good ransom considering that the ship wasn’t even dying and I was too lazy to move my Orca alt into system to refit. But I still wasn’t happy with it. It wasn’t that it wasn’t enough ISK, it was just that there is nothing at all interesting about ISK. I realized that he would have to offer me something much more interesting in order to tempt me to let him go.
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:23 ] BE3DEXOD > ISK is a bit boring. Do you have assets you could contract me?
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:32 ] flathlana > like what?
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:59 ] BE3DEXOD > Anything that will tempt me to let you go for it
[ 2013.12.14 07:22:05 ] flathlana > i can give you flathlana’s Armageddon Navy Issue
Without hesitation, he immediately offered exactly the sort of ransom I was looking for. The ship was unfit, but it was assembled and had not been renamed. Not quite stolen, but it was taken by force from someone who will miss it. It was a pretty good Christmas gift, but it still felt too easy, and it was a bit below the price range I was looking to reach. And that was when I realized what I wanted to do.
I decided I would do a 5 day awoxing campaign, with the goal of getting as many ransoms as I could in that time, and only accepting assets (which later changed to only assembled and fitted ships). At the end of the week, everything I got from ransoms would go to you, as well as the background story for each target corp, and any interesting chat logs that go with it. And it turned out to be, in my opinion, a fairly successful week of awoxing, both for kills and for ransoms.
The first corp I picked was called exhibito umbra. They were a very small mission running corp, only having about 10 members.
After I joined I noticed that the CEO and one of the directors appeared to be running missions together. I sent a scout to check on them, and I discovered that they were flying a Raven and a Proteus. I considered asking them to let me tag along with them, but I was a bit worried that the combined DPS from a Raven and a Proteus could potentially melt my Gnosis before I could drop fleet, join another fleet, warp my alts to the mission, jump through any gates we find, and then finally lock me and start repping me. Sure, I could have dropped fleet first and risked spooking them just to get my logi there before I attacked, or I could have tried to catch them on the first gate going into their next mission so I could get logi on me as quickly as possible, but I really didn’t want to take too many risks or leave anything to chance like that.
Instead I decided to see if I could bait them to a celestial, so my logi wouldn’t have to be in fleet and it could be nearby already aligned. I decided I would go rat in their home system, and then use BE3DEXOD to loot the wrecks and go suspect, and try to bait them into coming to defend me.
[ 2013.12.16 01:36:51 ] Aixowa Sadface > Some guy just stole from my wreck
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:22 ] kurs Maulerant > yeah that happened to us earlier
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > What do you do? Just ignore him?
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:43 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s at the asteroid belt with me
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:26 ] kurs Maulerant > well we ran the one off earlier and fear got a bounty put on him
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:38 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > How do you run them off?
[ 2013.12.16 01:39:39 ] kurs Maulerant > well fear was in a battleship and told him to stop or else
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:17 ] Aixowa Sadface > He didn’t seem intimidated
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:31 ] kurs Maulerant > what is he flying
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:32 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s in a frigate. I should be able to kill him in a Gnosis, right?
It took 25-30 minutes for any of them to get in system to help me. The Proteus landed on grid and attacked my alt’s Tristan, and so I fired back with the Tristan and my Gnosis. The Proteus pilot at first assumed it was a mistake.
[ 2013.12.16 02:04:16 ] kurs Maulerant > your attacking me by the wayt
[ 2013.12.16 02:06:57 ] Fearyourmaker > STOP shooting KURS
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’ll be happy to
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:13 ] Aixowa Sadface > For the right price
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:31 ] Fearyourmaker > lol your dead
So I neuted out the Proteus and got it to about half armor, and then my computer had a pretty awesomely timed BSOD. I raged hard and restarted my computer and logged on again as quickly as I could. I was lucky that I had already neuted out the Proteus, because his point was off so I just emergency warped off.
When I got back online the Proteus pilot convo’d me.
[ 2013.12.16 02:12:44 ] kurs Maulerant > really
[ 2013.12.16 02:13:17 ] Aixowa Sadface > Sorry
[ 2013.12.16 02:13:20 ] Aixowa Sadface > It’s business
[ 2013.12.16 02:16:02 ] kurs Maulerant > I am changing to my pvp fit
So while he was changing to his “PVP” Proteus, his corpmates arrived first in a Harpy and a Raven. I neuted out the Harpy and killed him, and then switched to the Raven for a bit. Once the Proteus landed on grid they were dealing quite a bit of damage to me. They were actually breaking through my shield logi, so I brought in my other alt in armor logi as well. The armor logi was enough for me to tank them both, and then once I got the Proteus neuted out my shield reps were overpowering the Raven’s damage, and my shield repped back up to full.
I don’t know if it was on purpose, but the Raven and Proteus were drifting away from eachother, and the Raven was only at about half shield. The Proteus was getting really close to leaving my disruptor range, and so I decided to forget about the Raven and just switch to the Proteus.
And so I shot the Proteus for a few minutes. The Raven pilot warped off and grabbed a neuting Worm for some reason, I guess to try to neut me out to help the Proteus escape. The problem was I had two cap stable logi giving me cap transfer.
[ 2013.12.16 02:24:50 ] kurs Maulerant > so how long is this gonna last
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Until you meet my demands
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:30 ] kurs Maulerant > i am more willing to lose my ship
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:34 ] kurs Maulerant > than give you anything
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well you can have both
Once it was obvious that the Proteus was going to die, I decided it was time to negotiate a ransom. It was probably at around half armor at this time, and taking ages to kill.
[ 2013.12.16 02:27:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > The way it works is when people refuse, I stick around for a few days and kill their members until they change their mind
[ 2013.12.16 02:28:02 ] kurs Maulerant > thats fine. i can get some more help anyway
[ 2013.12.16 02:28:57 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well, we can work this out before I even kill your Proteus if you want
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:41 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you want to avoid the SP loss
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:44 ] kurs Maulerant > sure what do you want
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:58 ] Aixowa Sadface > Normally I ask for ISK, but there are special circumstances right now
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:03 ] Aixowa Sadface > So I am only accepting assets
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > For a corp your size, all I want is approximately 200m worth of stuff that would make a good secret santa gift
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:55 ] kurs Maulerant > well we don’t have any assets like that
[ 2013.12.16 02:31:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m sure you can find something
When the Proteus hit structure and his corpmates had proven useless to save him he was more open to negotiating.
[ 2013.12.16 02:37:12 ] kurs Maulerant > the most i can give you is 100 mil isk. that is all that is left after our last war
[ 2013.12.16 02:37:23 ] Aixowa Sadface > Ships are assets
[ 2013.12.16 02:37:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > Your corpmates brought out 3 or 4 ships which would work for a ransom
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:14 ] kurs Maulerant > i can give you a megathrone that is worht enough
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:21 ] kurs Maulerant > that is over 200
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > That would be perfect
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can create the contract in space
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:40 ] kurs Maulerant > as soon as i get to station
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:43 ] Aixowa Sadface > Once you contract it to me, I will let you go, and drop corp immediately
[ 2013.12.16 02:39:05 ] kurs Maulerant > not going to do it with you attacking me and me losing my ship right now if you actually want the ship
[ 2013.12.16 02:39:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > Nope. I have leverage that I am not willing to let go with your Proteus on the line as well.
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 20:49
kurs Maulerant placed 40,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.
So I talked him into contracting me the Megathron while we were in space. I usually honor all ransoms, and this one was no exception. I accepted the contract and then let the Proteus go and dropped corp. After it was all over, I took a closer look at the Megathron contract, and it was faction/deadspace fit with a T2 rig. Evepraisal valued it at about 450M.
My next target was a slightly larger corp named Digital Nonsense, with about 25 members. It looked like one of their members was hanging out in the same system for a long time, so I assumed he was running missions or mining. I went to check it out.
It turned out that he was actually in an Orca, AFK on a gate. So I pinged BU for some bumps and logi, and they came and were awesome, but the Orca died before the pilot even came back from being AFK.
[ 2013.12.16 08:56:40 ] Mia’a > Ok just had Aixowa Sadface take out my Orca
[ 2013.12.16 08:56:44 ] Mia’a > Kill: Mia’a (Orca)
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:03 ] Bane Cortex > ughh
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:17 ] Bane Cortex > dock up
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:22 ] Bane Cortex > ill get you money for it
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:29 ] Mia’a > who just happens to be in our corp
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:35 ] Bane Cortex > yup
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:33 ] Bane Cortex > god dammit
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:39 ] Bane Cortex > apis r gonna have to be needed now
[ 2013.12.16 09:00:21 ] Bane Cortex > man i didnt think awoxers still existed
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:59 ] Bane Cortex > i hope youll enjoy the bill bount im about to drop on you
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:04 ] Bane Cortex > bounty*
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Probably not a good idea
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:28 ] Bane Cortex > and whys that?
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:48 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well for one it’s just a waste of your ISK
[ 2013.12.16 08:59:00 ] Aixowa Sadface > But also if you drop a bill bounty on my head you are going to stand out
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 09:14
Bane Cortex placed 50,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.
Then the CEO refused my ransom and blocked me, so I sent a mail to the corp.
[ 2013.12.16 10:05:48 ] Lara Daluge > Help help Aixowa is demanding isk from me ><
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:23 ] Lara Daluge > how much do you want?
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:44 ] Bane Cortex > dont talk to him
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > 200m in assets. Ships or something, contracted to me.
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:56 ] Bane Cortex > dont give him any isk
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:03 ] Lara Daluge > and after give you what will you promise?
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:10 ] Bane Cortex > pention already in to remove him from corp
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:19 ] Bane Cortex > i will be calling ccp tomorrow to remove him
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:26 ] Lara Daluge > ok i report you for isk scam thank you for revealing your isk scam trick ^^
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will do nothing
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:40 ] Bane Cortex > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > It’s not a scam, and also scamming is legal in Eve
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:45 ] Lara Daluge > hope you get a permanent ban fk off shole
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:56 ] Lara Daluge > go earn your plex your dumbs
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:02 ] Lara Daluge > dun steal from others bitch
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:12 ] Lara Daluge > or do you want to come meet me face to face with your gang?
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will not kick me from your corp, and they will not ban me for ransoming you
Then this Lara Daluge guy goes full retard:
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:33 ] Lara Daluge > oei
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:35 ] Lara Daluge > Aixowa
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:37 ] Lara Daluge > you chicken?
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:44 ] Lara Daluge > bah you all scammers the same
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m not a scammer. I’m an awoxer.
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:08 ] Bane Cortex > yup
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > I joined your corp to kill your members
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:16 ] Lara Daluge > hey aixowa you want isk
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:18 ] Lara Daluge > i give you
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:21 ] Lara Daluge > 1 million bounty
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > Kill: Mia’a (Orca) Kill: Mia’a (Capsule)
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:34 ] Lara Daluge > oh you got 50 million ty i will keep my isk haha
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:40 ] Mia’a > oh noes….
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:42 ] Bane Cortex > thats from me
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:45 ] Lara Daluge > thnx boss
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:50 ] Lara Daluge > *high five*
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:55 ] Lara Daluge > *spits on dumb isk scammer*
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:13 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:15 ] Lara Daluge > Aixowa wtf you still doing here dumbo
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:26 ] Lara Daluge > meh prolly blocked me
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:28 ] Aixowa Sadface > I haven’t been paid yet
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > I would never block you
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:33 ] Lara Daluge > ima keep that email and give to ccp
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:35 ] Lara Daluge > opening ticket now
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:41 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP does not care
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:51 ] Bane Cortex > plz pention ccp to remove him from corp
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > They love this sort of stuff.
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:00 ] Lara Daluge > i want him permanent ban
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > I have done nothing that will get me banned
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:15 ] Lara Daluge > steal isk from players who subscribe to the game while this fker steals isk to play for free
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:23 ] Lara Daluge > is not contributing to ccp in anyway
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:29 ] Lara Daluge > only making eve online a horrible experience
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > But it’s within the rules of the game
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > This is Eve Online. It’s a cold, harsh universe.
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > And this happened because your CEO recruited without doing the proper background checks first
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:33 ] Lara Daluge > lol he block me and removed his messages from my screen
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:42 ] Lara Daluge > can anyone here type i took a screenshot already
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:49 ] Bane Cortex > yea
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:57 ] Lara Daluge > he going to get it what a noob isk scammer
[ 2013.12.16 10:13:11 ] EVE System > Channel MOTD changed to: “Keep an eye on local if you see Aixowa Sadface dock up plz.plz remained docked untill further notice” by Bane Cortex.
[ 2013.12.16 10:13:45 ] Lara Daluge > i give him 898989 isk which means fufufu in dialect
[ 2013.12.16 10:14:11 ] Lara Daluge > erm bounty haha
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 10:14
Lara Daluge placed 898,989 ISK in bounty on your head.
These guys really seemed to think I was doing something that was against the rules.
[ 2013.12.16 10:24:56 ] Bane Cortex > so bro
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:03 ] Bane Cortex > r u gonna leave or do i need to ticket this?
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can’t ticket it
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:19 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will tell you they can’t do anything about it
[ 2013.12.16 20:58:21 ] Tygress Shadow > This ‘hostage’ dynamic is very confusing.
[ 2013.12.16 20:58:27 ] Tygress Shadow > Are you our friend?
[ 2013.12.16 20:58:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > I guess you could consider me an enemy
[ 2013.12.16 20:59:02 ] Bane Cortex > no hes a D-bag whos gonna get banned
After that he sent me like 25 fleet invites. Since he was in a Curse I didn’t want to fight him without my logi, and he logged for the night before my logi made it into system. Fortunately he pulled the same thing the next day with my logi already in system, and after I killed his Curse he immediately offered to pay the ransom in the form of a fitted Apoc to get rid of me.
My next mark was a small missioning/mining corp. I don’t remember much about them. When I joined, the only ones online were the CEO and his alt, and neither flew anything worth killing.
This CEO was really dense. I mean really, really dense. Both of the previous CEO’s tried to white knight me within two hours of my joining the corp, and the dude ignored them and basically told them to fuck off.
[ 2013.12.16 23:32:41 ] Dash Auduin > Bane Cortex you know this guy?
[ 2013.12.16 23:32:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > Did he convo you?
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:02 ] Dash Auduin > yep
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:23 ] Dash Auduin > asked if i knew who i recruited
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol. Well he doesn’t know who I am either.
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:59 ] Dash Auduin > oh the bitch left
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:04 ] Dash Auduin > who was he?
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:23 ] Aixowa Sadface > The CEO of the last corp I was in
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:29 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s kind of a dick, which is why I left
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:48 ] Dash Auduin > yeeeah bitch shouldnt get in my business.
[ 2013.12.16 23:35:07 ] Dash Auduin > im very accepting in eve til someone crosses me.
[ 2013.12.17 00:50:58 ] Dash Auduin > man lots of people dont like
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > Lots of people don’t like what?
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:30 ] Dash Auduin > kurs Maulerant
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:37 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:43 ] Dash Auduin > haha im getting a lot of flak for accepting you
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:48 ] Dash Auduin > not that i care
[ 2013.12.17 00:55:19 ] Dash Auduin > he said you ransomed his corp. welly played hah
[ 2013.12.17 00:55:51 ] Dash Auduin > he assumed i didnt know you were an alt ofc
[ 2013.12.17 00:56:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 00:59:41 ] Dash Auduin > hes like i highly doubt she told you straight up and i was like actually she did and shes got a lot of alts that are high sp and very dangerous, im not an idiot, good day.
[ 2013.12.17 00:59:44 ] Dash Auduin > pwned
[ 2013.12.17 01:00:07 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:01:54 ] Dash Auduin > im getting pissed, all these people convoing me i think theyre asking about the corp, but yet here they are questioning my intelligence when they were stupid enough to get burned
[ 2013.12.17 01:02:04 ] Dash Auduin > pansies, the lot
[ 2013.12.17 01:07:53 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:07:59 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well you shouldn’t get any more convos
[ 2013.12.17 01:08:53 ] Dash Auduin > haha think so?
[ 2013.12.17 01:11:07 ] Aixowa Sadface > Maybe. Hopefully. lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:13:30 ] Emma Chasteau > look man. i dont give a shit what you do, or did. whatever. long as you dont do it to us, youll be fine, you know.
The only worthwhile ship this guy owned was his Navy Hurricane, which he was too scared to do anything with. It took a while for me to convince him to undock it so I could see it, and after that he absolutely refused to move off the station with it.
After a while the other main member of the corp logged in. We chatted for a bit and he started linking all kinds of terrible, stupidly expensive ships. When he and the CEO were running missions, I decided to hit the CEO’s alt who had been mining next door in a Retriever. My timing was accidentally perfect, because the two of them had just jumped into system when I landed on grid with it.
[ 2013.12.17 02:21:47 ] Emma Chasteau > i see you there
[ 2013.12.17 02:21:53 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:22:53 ] Emma Chasteau > dash isnt far away, just so you now
From there they warped in a Navy Drake and a Hurricane. I immediately primaried the Drake, because every good FC knows you always primary the Drake.
[ 2013.12.17 02:25:50 ] Horyuu > ow
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you eject from the navy Drake and leave, I will leave the corp
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:27 ] Horyuu > okay
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:32 ] Aixowa Sadface > If not I will stick around and kill you guys, and then wardec you
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > Eject
To my surprise, he ejected without much hesitation. I locked his pod, but decided to be a nice guy and let him warp it off.
[ 2013.12.17 02:27:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > Now warp off
Except instead he decided to remind me why I should never be a nice guy in Eve. He jumped back in the ship and…
[ 2013.12.17 02:27:37 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:27:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > One more time. This time leave.
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:00 ] Horyuu > How about this?
… immediately started self destructing it.
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:24 ] Horyuu > shit, can’t eject
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:29 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:30 ] Horyuu > weapon activation
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:02 ] Aixowa Sadface > Stop the self destruct
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you eject, I will leave peacefully
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:38 ] Horyuu > and then you will take my ship and make tons of isk off of me. I would rather lost it on my own damn terms you fuckhead
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:54 ] Aixowa Sadface > You are losing the Drake tiher way
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:02 ] Aixowa Sadface > But your corp will lose much more if you force me to kill it
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:34 ] Aixowa Sadface > I should have podded you when I locked your pod, but I was trying to be a nice guy
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:40 ] Aixowa Sadface > Thanks for teaching me otherwise
So there you go, you would have had a Navy Drake in addition to everything else you got if I wasn’t so bad at this game. Sucks to be you I guess. Fortunately the Navy Drake dropped 325M worth of faction mods anyway.
[ 2013.12.17 02:32:38 ] Aixowa Sadface > 325M worth of loot I got. But unfortunately that won’t make a good secret santa gift now that it’s all blown up.
[ 2013.12.17 02:32:56 ] Horyuu > good
[ 2013.12.17 02:33:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you want me to leave you will have to give me a nice ship to wrap these mods in
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:15 ] Horyuu > and so you thought it was a great idea to hop in a new corp, pretend that the 90m bounty on your head was from griefers, try to ransom me for my expensive missioning toy after nuking emma knowing one of us would come
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:35 ] Aixowa Sadface > Yes, basically
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:40 ] Aixowa Sadface > I didn’t know it was as expensive as it was
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > That would have made a great Christmas gift
I was pretty happy with the faction mods, but I wasn’t going to leave without a ship to fit them to. I gave them the option of contracting me a Drake, which they accepted.
So, that night I joined a new corp by the name of Asteroid Raiders. Nothing was going on and it was getting late, so I just called it a night.
The next day I asked one of their members to come with me for a level 4 mission, and I killed his Armageddon. Well, Concord got the final blow when he shot my logi alt, but I did most of the work.
[ 2013.12.17 19:38:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well that was unfortunate
[ 2013.12.17 19:38:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > Would you like to pay me to save your pod?
[ 2013.12.17 19:38:38 ] captin bobin > fuck you
[ 2013.12.17 19:41:32 ] captin bobin > kiss my ass as my sub is up tomm so idc
I never got a ransom out of these guys, but I got some of the most amusing tears I’ve had in recent memory, so that definitely made up for it.
[ 2013.12.17 23:16:48 ] Viper Antillion > o/
[ 2013.12.17 23:16:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > o/
[ 2013.12.17 23:16:54 ] Viper Antillion > i heard capn attacked you?!
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > The whole mail exchange was a troll. I attacked him.
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:41 ] Viper Antillion > yeah i was aware of that. guess the false sense of security thing is gone
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:49 ] Viper Antillion > your a bitch i hope you know that
[ 2013.12.17 23:18:00 ] Viper Antillion > I do have a propisiton for you though
[ 2013.12.17 23:18:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right. Let’s hear yours, and then I will give you mine afterwards.
[ 2013.12.17 23:19:36 ] Viper Antillion > You leave the corp. right away actually and we will not have to put a 200,000,000 isk bounty on you then higher about 2-3 major merc alliance to come and make your life hell
[ 2013.12.17 23:19:59 ] Viper Antillion > actually i dont want to hear your side of it
[ 2013.12.17 23:20:18 ] Viper Antillion > ignorant jack asses generally dont have too much between the ears
[ 2013.12.17 23:20:22 ] Viper Antillion > good bye )
[ 2013.12.17 23:22:13 ] Viper Antillion > Marcus Rinkles Aixowa Sadface <– total bitch bounty as much as you like she will be removed asap and added as a target to the unofficial high-sec alliance of mercs
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.17 23:24
Viper Antillion placed 200,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.
[ 2013.12.17 23:25:18 ] Viper Antillion > she thinks she can weild some sort of contorl over corperations. Basically by beeing an attention horing bitch she thinks we will pay here to leave
[ 2013.12.17 23:25:56 ] Viper Antillion > by the time we’re done w. her she will have over 1 bill isk in bounty and about 13 corps hunting her down
[ 2013.12.17 23:25:58 ] Marcus Rinkles > we would camp the staion and never let her leave
[ 2013.12.17 23:26:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > dont worry i talked to my null sec corp and they are heade this way now
[ 2013.12.17 23:26:52 ] Viper Antillion > she is prob. out there in a battlehsip or some such. i will go get a nice little fit and once the other 20 people are on we will track her down and blow her up over and over again. it should be fun
[ 2013.12.17 23:34:54 ] Viper Antillion > yeah like she knows what anything is. She dosent even understand how ransom works! You need to be a bit more htan just a mild inconvience to require a ransom and even then … good luck
[ 2013.12.17 23:36:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > so how many times have you done this Aixowa Sadface
[ 2013.12.17 23:37:14 ] Viper Antillion > how many times has she attempted to do this you mean. You would have to be an IDIOT to comply w. her bull shit
[ 2013.12.17 23:37:52 ] Viper Antillion > yeah over 1 bill in bounties will raise a few red flags. and we will contact any corp who highers you immedietly
[ 2013.12.17 23:39:33 ] Viper Antillion > sadface. guess what. you just hit the mark that will ruin your oh so glorious career
[ 2013.12.17 23:39:46 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol. You’re right.
[ 2013.12.17 23:39:56 ] Aixowa Sadface > Some scrub mining corp full of noobs will be the end of me.
[ 2013.12.17 23:40:40 ] Viper Antillion > yeah try a 20+ man indy corp w. vets from the begninning of the game all communications will cease you will be blocked by all members and we will not respond to any further communications
[ 2013.12.17 23:40:42 ] Viper Antillion > good bye
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:02 ] Viper Antillion > All members in room block mr. sadface
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:07 ] Marcus Rinkles > blocked
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:36 ] captin bobin > i blocked his ass after he try to ransom me lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:44 ] Viper Antillion > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:42:01 ] captin bobin > i do not bow down to pirates
[ 2013.12.17 23:51:57 ] Marcus Rinkles > i was gonna do some mining but now looking at pvp fits
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:19 ] Viper Antillion > yeahh sounds good i could use some pew pew anywyas.
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:27 ] xFoxycleopatrax > i see we have an attn whore piece or shit in corp
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:39 ] Viper Antillion > whats the point of this shiny billion isk battleship if it just sits here all day lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:41 ] Marcus Rinkles > very well said lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:47 ] captin bobin > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:53 ] Viper Antillion > xFoxycleopatrax lol too true
[ 2013.12.17 23:53:02 ] Viper Antillion > block her immedietly and bounty to your hearts content
[ 2013.12.17 23:54:40 ] Viper Antillion > ahh no worries. ill just keep droppin bounties on her every day till she leaves. next corp she tries to hit….
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:08 ] Viper Antillion > the response will be, “umm sooo just one quick question…. the 2.5 billion isk bounty…. that from playing nice and doing right by your previous corps is it??” lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:09 ] Marcus Rinkles > wow i wish i knew anything about pvp lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:16 ] captin bobin > yup hit me with a scram and a nuet so i was dead in the water lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:37 ] xFoxycleopatrax > just added 100 mil to that
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.17 23:55
xFoxycleopatrax placed 100,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.
[ 2013.12.17 23:57:26 ] xFoxycleopatrax > i let her see everything i wrote i dont give a crap she can suck my hypothetical dick i saw her blow up cappy
[ 2013.12.17 23:58:33 ] captin bobin > Dextrust i think this is the logi pilot
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:11 ] Viper Antillion > yeahh just thank god for the block button attnetion whores are annoying
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:32 ] xFoxycleopatrax > people who dont want to actually work for their isk
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:45 ] Viper Antillion > indeed foxy
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:57 ] captin bobin > yes this is the guy
[ 2013.12.18 00:00:21 ] Viper Antillion > mmk send it up to freind
[ 2013.12.18 00:04:07 ] captin bobin > lol and he is a corp of 1 Dextrust lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:04:26 ] Viper Antillion > ohhh nooo 1 whole character ?! what ever will we do
[ 2013.12.18 00:05:07 ] captin bobin > pod his ass till he hides lol im so tempted to gank him lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:05:26 ] captin bobin > dessis are cheap
[ 2013.12.18 00:06:23 ] Marcus Rinkles > do it if you really want to
[ 2013.12.18 00:07:46 ] xFoxycleopatrax > so can we go out and hunt her
[ 2013.12.18 00:07:52 ] Viper Antillion > yeah go for it
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:14 ] captin bobin > oh oh there moveing
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:15 ] Viper Antillion > id reccommend bringing along another person or two. says she is cloaked up in berye somewhere idk.
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:29 ] Marcus Rinkles > i can be bait lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > i am running destroyer
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:54 ] Marcus Rinkles > with cap drain
[ 2013.12.18 00:09:39 ] captin bobin > ahhh hes running away …..
[ 2013.12.18 00:09:43 ] Viper Antillion > niice she will have (probably just multiboxing an alt) some other dude there repping her.
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:06 ] Viper Antillion > ahh poor widdle sadface runnin for the hills
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:10 ] captin bobin > Dextrust is the logi pilot
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:54 ] Viper Antillion > good to know we will bounty and merc that guy as well. its prob. just her alt though
[ 2013.12.18 00:52:04 ] RoidsOnMyAss > the best part is his name, aixowa = awoxia sadface
[ 2013.12.18 00:52:31 ] Grimreaperxx > I’m slightly unsure how no one saw this coming.
[ 2013.12.18 00:53:00 ] RoidsOnMyAss > was very preventable tbh
[ 2013.12.18 00:59:38 ] Frastus > (S)he can see corp chat, FYI
[ 2013.12.18 01:00:23 ] Viper Antillion > yeah thats alright she will liek to read all about the orginization and sucesfull execution of us poping her
When I realized 6 or 7 of them were forming up to kill me I pinged for more logi in BU just in case. I was a shield tanked Gnosis, and I had one T1 shield logi and then 3 armor logi. When they finally attacked me, they brought a Myrm, a Blackbird and some destroyers, most of which died thanks to the projected ECCM from my logi.
After their showing I decided to be a nice guy again and drop the ransom amount to 100m as a thanks for entertaining me. I decided to convo the CEO when he got on to give him one chance to pay the ransom.
[ 2013.12.18 01:49:53 ] Friendsolo > so it means your a cunt is all dec away
Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.18 21:33
Loco Poco placed 9,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.
So we dropped a couple wardecs to the corp, killed a few of their miners over the next 24 hours, and then I left about when the wars started to hit one last corp before my week of awoxing was up.
So after I left that last corp, I was wondering how I was going to find a corp with a recruiter who wouldn’t notice or care that I had a 400M bounty and had been in 5 different player corps in the last few days. Fortunately, after spending two minutes in the Recruitment channel, I found a recruiter literally advertising the fact that his corp doesn’t do backround checks. I’m not even exaggerating.
After I joined, I positioned myself close to where the CEO was, and then asked if anyone in the corp wanted to run missions with me. When he was on his way to run missions in his Legion with the blatant awoxer was when he decided to finally look into me and ask some questions.
[ 2013.12.19 04:14:39 ] Puraimaru > what kind of mission has you in a gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:12 ] Puraimaru > my information may be 5 mins out of date
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > All I can fly are BCs. I’ve been going with other people on their missions up until now.
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:56 ] Aixowa Sadface > That’s why I need help.
[ 2013.12.19 04:16:06 ] Puraimaru > oh
[ 2013.12.19 04:28:47 ] Puraimaru > why have you been in so many corps in the past month if you do not mind me asking?
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:09 ] Puraimaru > and wanted for so much?
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > Hard to find a good fit. The last one I was going to stay in but now they are at war.
(At war with my alt corp, as well as Killing With A Smile. LOL)
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:29 ] Puraimaru > ouch I hate war
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:44 ] Puraimaru > just dock up and let it pass
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > And the bounty is from some suicide gankers who tried to kill me
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > They and their friends just keep adding more to it
[ 2013.12.19 04:30:13 ] Puraimaru > sounds like suicide gankers to me
[ 2013.12.19 04:33:57 ] Puraimaru > 4 jumps out
[ 2013.12.19 04:34:04 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right
[ 2013.12.19 04:38:27 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can just warp to me when you get here
And so he warped to me in my mission.
[ 2013.12.19 04:40:39 ] Puraimaru > hmm?
[ 2013.12.19 04:41:36 ] Puraimaru > welcome to the boot
[ 2013.12.19 04:43:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > You won’t be able to boot me
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:18 ] Aixowa Sadface > So
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Do you want to save your Legion?
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:27 ] Puraimaru > here we are
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:32 ] Puraimaru > how much?
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:57 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m not taking ISK, but the ransom includes saving your Legion (plus SP loss) and my immediate dropping of your corp
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me a ship, fitted, worth at least 500m
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:17 ] Puraimaru > my corp has no taxes
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:19 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can do it from space
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:36 ] Aixowa Sadface > Just use your assets list
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you bring help I will just kill you immediately
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:17 ] Puraimaru > hmm?
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:31 ] Puraimaru > how can I bring help I know noone
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > So are you considering the ransom?
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:53 ] Puraimaru > aye
[ 2013.12.19 04:47:04 ] Puraimaru > but how do I know you will not blow me up anyway?
[ 2013.12.19 04:47:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > I always honor ransoms. If I didn’t, nobody would ever pay them.
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well a few days I ransomed a Proteus and let him go when he paid
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:25 ] Aixowa Sadface > But the pilot isn’t on
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:42 ] Puraimaru > http://eveboard.com/pilot/Puraimaru
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:51 ] Puraimaru > as you can see I do not have 500M
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:58 ] Aixowa Sadface > I don’t want ISK
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:06 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me a ship valued at that much
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:09 ] Puraimaru > what do you want?
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:14 ] Puraimaru > oh
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:03 ] Puraimaru > abbadon work?
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > Is it faction fit?
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:33 ] Puraimaru > cant remember
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you don’t have one ship worth 500m you can contract me two
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:09 ] Puraimaru > want another gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Abaddon + Gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:31 ] Puraimaru > oh omen navy is faction fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:51 ] Puraimaru > seeing if I saved fittings
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:12 ] Puraimaru > Pura Omen Nav
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:30 ] Aixowa Sadface > Is the Gnosis fit or unfit?
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:37 ] Puraimaru > unfit
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:53 ] Puraimaru > augoror?
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:55 ] Puraimaru > not fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me the Abaddon and the Navy Omen
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:18 ] Aixowa Sadface > Those two will add up to 500m
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:34 ] Aixowa Sadface > Navy Omen is only worth 200m on its own, even with faction fittings
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:59 ] Puraimaru > abaddon is worth over 500M
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:04 ] Aixowa Sadface > Link the fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:15 ] Puraimaru > cannot it is not saved
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right, send the Abaddon contract and I will value it. If it is over 500m that will be enough.
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:32 ] Puraimaru > but that is what the contract thing is telling me
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:49 ] Aixowa Sadface > Those things are usually wrong
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > Let me know when the contract is up
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:19 ] Puraimaru > up
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:37 ] Puraimaru > and damn you for takeing advantage of a friend
The Abaddon contract actually included the Augoror as well, and it was only valued at about 470M. But even if it was worth much more than 500m I would have told him to send the Navy Omen anyway.
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:49 ] Aixowa Sadface > 400m according to Jita prices
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:00 ] Aixowa Sadface > So please contract the Navy Omen as well
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:17 ] Puraimaru > damn
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:19 ] Puraimaru > ok
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:08 ] Puraimaru > finnished?
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:11 ] Puraimaru > now can I go
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:36 ] Aixowa Sadface > Cool, got it
Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that up until now I’ve honored all of my ransoms. I always honor ransoms. But I know you guys never honor them, so I figured I would dishonor one just for you. Plus I knew his Legion was full of tasty faction mods, and I really wanted to make him lose SP.
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > Now I normally always honor ransoms
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:56 ] Puraimaru > normaly?
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:03 ] Aixowa Sadface > Unfortunately, this is a Christmas thing for a friend of mine, and he never honors ransoms
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > So in his honor I think you have to die. Sorry.
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:18 ] Puraimaru > DAMN YOU
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:40 ] Puraimaru > I paid your randsome
When I told him I was going to dishonor the ransom, I sent out my drones but I didn’t aggress him. I was about to offer him a second chance to escape in exchange for a “Merry Christmas Perseus!” (which I also would have dishonored) but while I was writing it he shot me and pulled aggro from my drones, and he was dead before I had even noticed.
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > Did you shoot me and aggro my drones?
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > I was going to give oyu one more chance, lol
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:25 ] Aixowa Sadface > Sorry, my mistake
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:28 ] Puraimaru > fuck you
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > You actually committed suicide there
So then I asked one more time for a “Merry Christmas” in corp chat and they all refused. So I decided to stick around for one more day so I could ransom the corp or another ship for it. So the next day I caught a Retriever who was AFK, and I managed to get someone else in the corp to wish you a “Merry Christmas” in exchange for his life and me dropping corp.