A sample of what sort of information is laying around about basically any character. (Also, free advertising.)

So I was doing my usual thing, hanging out in recruitment and lightly trolling people by asking to join a ‘guild’ when I noticed something interesting.


Someone names The Shadow Broker was offering to do backround checks on people for a fee, offering this as a way to screen potential applicants to a corp.  Being a narcissist and also wanting a good sample of the sorts of things you can find about a character in this game well before you think about recruiting them, I talked my way into a free backround check on Psychotic Monk.


I’m a fairly public figure, so I’m not terribly hard to find out about, but I was surprised about a couple of the things the guy turned up.  This info is almost completely accurate, so I’ll let the work speak for itself.  Enjoy a link!



A Griefmas Miracle: The quest for a good Secret Santa present!

BE3DEXOD was trying to get Perseus Parker the best Griefmas gift and this is what he came up with.  Enjoy this email he was kind enough to let me publish.


[ 2013.12.17 03:28:33 ] Bane Cortex > Merry Christman Persues :)
[ 2013.12.17 03:02:12 ] Horyuu > Merry Christmas Perseus!!! (mother fucker) =P
[ 2013.12.17 03:02:19 ] Dash Auduin > MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS PERSEUS YOU BASTARD :d
[ 2013.12.20 04:03:27 ] Koston Eld > merry christmas persus and i hope you die in fire

Merry Christmas Perseus!

When I first got you for the Secret Santa I really had no idea what I wanted to get you. The wishlist I was given was “Stolen Tengu with the original owner’s name, a Claymore and nude pics”. Stealing things isn’t exactly my specialty, so I went and talked to Xui about it and he informed me that you had already stolen a Tengu after you made your list. I really didn’t think nude pictures of myself would make a very good Christmas gift for anyone, and I didn’t want to be uncreative and just buy you a Claymore. With no options left from your list and no good ideas on what to get you, I decided trying to think of ideas was too much effort, and instead I went to go steal some ore from miners.

After an hour or two of nothing interesting happening, I stole some from a Hulk and one of his corpies showed up in a Navy Raven and immediately attacked me. My Tristan’s 5 Warrior II’s weren’t enough to break his tank, but he couldn’t kill me either, and he couldn’t escape. So I decided to just keep him pointed at the belt for a while to see what I could get out of him.

After about half an hour of not getting anywhere at all, I decided to start bluffing (kinda).

[ 2013.12.14 07:17:12 ] BE3DEXOD > Well, do you want to negotiate your release before I bring some friends to help me fit neuts and scan you to find your resist hole?
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:22 ] flathlana > ok how much
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:27 ] flathlana > for my retardedness
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:36 ] BE3DEXOD > Start making offers

(I should note that I almost never name my own price when asking for ransoms. I like to test them to see what they are willing to pay.)

[ 2013.12.14 07:17:41 ] flathlana > 100 mill
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:42 ] BE3DEXOD > I really don’t know what I want
[ 2013.12.14 07:17:53 ] BE3DEXOD > But I really want a CNR kill so there’s that
[ 2013.12.14 07:18:51 ] flathlana > 200 mill?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:02 ] BE3DEXOD > Omen a friend of yours?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:13 ] flathlana > yes to be honest
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:23 ] flathlana > 200 mill?
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:45 ] flathlana > you walk away happy
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:51 ] flathlana > i get the rest of my night back
[ 2013.12.14 07:19:54 ] flathlana > save some ammo
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:10 ] BE3DEXOD > Well, I won’t be happy walking away unless the ISK is worth passing up a Navy Raven kill.
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:26 ] flathlana > how much do u want?
[ 2013.12.14 07:20:56 ] flathlana > 400 mill is highest i will go
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:02 ] flathlana > pure isk
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:05 ] flathlana > and u have a story
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:17 ] flathlana > of great victory XD

400m was definitely a good ransom considering that the ship wasn’t even dying and I was too lazy to move my Orca alt into system to refit. But I still wasn’t happy with it. It wasn’t that it wasn’t enough ISK, it was just that there is nothing at all interesting about ISK. I realized that he would have to offer me something much more interesting in order to tempt me to let him go.

[ 2013.12.14 07:21:23 ] BE3DEXOD > ISK is a bit boring. Do you have assets you could contract me?
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:32 ] flathlana > like what?
[ 2013.12.14 07:21:59 ] BE3DEXOD > Anything that will tempt me to let you go for it
[ 2013.12.14 07:22:05 ] flathlana > i can give you flathlana’s Armageddon Navy Issue

Without hesitation, he immediately offered exactly the sort of ransom I was looking for. The ship was unfit, but it was assembled and had not been renamed. Not quite stolen, but it was taken by force from someone who will miss it. It was a pretty good Christmas gift, but it still felt too easy, and it was a bit below the price range I was looking to reach. And that was when I realized what I wanted to do.

I decided I would do a 5 day awoxing campaign, with the goal of getting as many ransoms as I could in that time, and only accepting assets (which later changed to only assembled and fitted ships). At the end of the week, everything I got from ransoms would go to you, as well as the background story for each target corp, and any interesting chat logs that go with it. And it turned out to be, in my opinion, a fairly successful week of awoxing, both for kills and for ransoms.


The first corp I picked was called exhibito umbra. They were a very small mission running corp, only having about 10 members.

After I joined I noticed that the CEO and one of the directors appeared to be running missions together. I sent a scout to check on them, and I discovered that they were flying a Raven and a Proteus. I considered asking them to let me tag along with them, but I was a bit worried that the combined DPS from a Raven and a Proteus could potentially melt my Gnosis before I could drop fleet, join another fleet, warp my alts to the mission, jump through any gates we find, and then finally lock me and start repping me. Sure, I could have dropped fleet first and risked spooking them just to get my logi there before I attacked, or I could have tried to catch them on the first gate going into their next mission so I could get logi on me as quickly as possible, but I really didn’t want to take too many risks or leave anything to chance like that.

Instead I decided to see if I could bait them to a celestial, so my logi wouldn’t have to be in fleet and it could be nearby already aligned. I decided I would go rat in their home system, and then use BE3DEXOD to loot the wrecks and go suspect, and try to bait them into coming to defend me.

[ 2013.12.16 01:36:51 ] Aixowa Sadface > Some guy just stole from my wreck
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:22 ] kurs Maulerant > yeah that happened to us earlier
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > What do you do? Just ignore him?
[ 2013.12.16 01:37:43 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s at the asteroid belt with me
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:26 ] kurs Maulerant > well we ran the one off earlier and fear got a bounty put on him
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:38 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 01:38:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > How do you run them off?
[ 2013.12.16 01:39:39 ] kurs Maulerant > well fear was in a battleship and told him to stop or else
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:17 ] Aixowa Sadface > He didn’t seem intimidated
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:31 ] kurs Maulerant > what is he flying
[ 2013.12.16 01:41:32 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s in a frigate. I should be able to kill him in a Gnosis, right?

It took 25-30 minutes for any of them to get in system to help me. The Proteus landed on grid and attacked my alt’s Tristan, and so I fired back with the Tristan and my Gnosis. The Proteus pilot at first assumed it was a mistake.

[ 2013.12.16 02:04:16 ] kurs Maulerant > your attacking me by the wayt

[ 2013.12.16 02:06:57 ] Fearyourmaker > STOP shooting KURS
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’ll be happy to
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:13 ] Aixowa Sadface > For the right price
[ 2013.12.16 02:07:31 ] Fearyourmaker > lol your dead

So I neuted out the Proteus and got it to about half armor, and then my computer had a pretty awesomely timed BSOD. I raged hard and restarted my computer and logged on again as quickly as I could. I was lucky that I had already neuted out the Proteus, because his point was off so I just emergency warped off.

When I got back online the Proteus pilot convo’d me.

[ 2013.12.16 02:12:44 ] kurs Maulerant > really
[ 2013.12.16 02:13:17 ] Aixowa Sadface > Sorry :P
[ 2013.12.16 02:13:20 ] Aixowa Sadface > It’s business
[ 2013.12.16 02:16:02 ] kurs Maulerant > I am changing to my pvp fit

So while he was changing to his “PVP” Proteus, his corpmates arrived first in a Harpy and a Raven. I neuted out the Harpy and killed him, and then switched to the Raven for a bit. Once the Proteus landed on grid they were dealing quite a bit of damage to me. They were actually breaking through my shield logi, so I brought in my other alt in armor logi as well. The armor logi was enough for me to tank them both, and then once I got the Proteus neuted out my shield reps were overpowering the Raven’s damage, and my shield repped back up to full.

I don’t know if it was on purpose, but the Raven and Proteus were drifting away from eachother, and the Raven was only at about half shield. The Proteus was getting really close to leaving my disruptor range, and so I decided to forget about the Raven and just switch to the Proteus.

And so I shot the Proteus for a few minutes. The Raven pilot warped off and grabbed a neuting Worm for some reason, I guess to try to neut me out to help the Proteus escape. The problem was I had two cap stable logi giving me cap transfer.

[ 2013.12.16 02:24:50 ] kurs Maulerant > so how long is this gonna last
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Until you meet my demands
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:30 ] kurs Maulerant > i am more willing to lose my ship
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:34 ] kurs Maulerant > than give you anything
[ 2013.12.16 02:25:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well you can have both

Once it was obvious that the Proteus was going to die, I decided it was time to negotiate a ransom. It was probably at around half armor at this time, and taking ages to kill.

[ 2013.12.16 02:27:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > The way it works is when people refuse, I stick around for a few days and kill their members until they change their mind
[ 2013.12.16 02:28:02 ] kurs Maulerant > thats fine. i can get some more help anyway
[ 2013.12.16 02:28:57 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well, we can work this out before I even kill your Proteus if you want
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:41 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you want to avoid the SP loss
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:44 ] kurs Maulerant > sure what do you want
[ 2013.12.16 02:29:58 ] Aixowa Sadface > Normally I ask for ISK, but there are special circumstances right now
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:03 ] Aixowa Sadface > So I am only accepting assets
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > For a corp your size, all I want is approximately 200m worth of stuff that would make a good secret santa gift
[ 2013.12.16 02:30:55 ] kurs Maulerant > well we don’t have any assets like that
[ 2013.12.16 02:31:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m sure you can find something

When the Proteus hit structure and his corpmates had proven useless to save him he was more open to negotiating.

[ 2013.12.16 02:37:12 ] kurs Maulerant > the most i can give you is 100 mil isk. that is all that is left after our last war
[ 2013.12.16 02:37:23 ] Aixowa Sadface > Ships are assets
[ 2013.12.16 02:37:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > Your corpmates brought out 3 or 4 ships which would work for a ransom
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:14 ] kurs Maulerant > i can give you a megathrone that is worht enough
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:21 ] kurs Maulerant > that is over 200
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > That would be perfect
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can create the contract in space
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:40 ] kurs Maulerant > as soon as i get to station
[ 2013.12.16 02:38:43 ] Aixowa Sadface > Once you contract it to me, I will let you go, and drop corp immediately
[ 2013.12.16 02:39:05 ] kurs Maulerant > not going to do it with you attacking me and me losing my ship right now if you actually want the ship
[ 2013.12.16 02:39:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > Nope. I have leverage that I am not willing to let go with your Proteus on the line as well.

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 20:49

kurs Maulerant placed 40,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.

So I talked him into contracting me the Megathron while we were in space. I usually honor all ransoms, and this one was no exception. I accepted the contract and then let the Proteus go and dropped corp. After it was all over, I took a closer look at the Megathron contract, and it was faction/deadspace fit with a T2 rig. Evepraisal valued it at about 450M.


My next target was a slightly larger corp named Digital Nonsense, with about 25 members. It looked like one of their members was hanging out in the same system for a long time, so I assumed he was running missions or mining. I went to check it out.

It turned out that he was actually in an Orca, AFK on a gate. So I pinged BU for some bumps and logi, and they came and were awesome, but the Orca died before the pilot even came back from being AFK.

[ 2013.12.16 08:56:40 ] Mia’a > Ok just had Aixowa Sadface take out my Orca
[ 2013.12.16 08:56:44 ] Mia’a > Kill: Mia’a (Orca)
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:03 ] Bane Cortex > ughh
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:17 ] Bane Cortex > dock up
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:22 ] Bane Cortex > ill get you money for it
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:29 ] Mia’a > who just happens to be in our corp :D
[ 2013.12.16 08:57:35 ] Bane Cortex > yup
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:33 ] Bane Cortex > god dammit
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:39 ] Bane Cortex > apis r gonna have to be needed now
[ 2013.12.16 09:00:21 ] Bane Cortex > man i didnt think awoxers still existed

[ 2013.12.16 08:57:59 ] Bane Cortex > i hope youll enjoy the bill bount im about to drop on you
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:04 ] Bane Cortex > bounty*
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Probably not a good idea
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:28 ] Bane Cortex > and whys that?
[ 2013.12.16 08:58:48 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well for one it’s just a waste of your ISK
[ 2013.12.16 08:59:00 ] Aixowa Sadface > But also if you drop a bill bounty on my head you are going to stand out

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 09:14

Bane Cortex placed 50,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.

Then the CEO refused my ransom and blocked me, so I sent a mail to the corp.

[ 2013.12.16 10:05:48 ] Lara Daluge > Help help Aixowa is demanding isk from me ><
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:23 ] Lara Daluge > how much do you want?
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:44 ] Bane Cortex > dont talk to him
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > 200m in assets. Ships or something, contracted to me.
[ 2013.12.16 10:06:56 ] Bane Cortex > dont give him any isk
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:03 ] Lara Daluge > and after give you what will you promise?
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:10 ] Bane Cortex > pention already in to remove him from corp
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:19 ] Bane Cortex > i will be calling ccp tomorrow to remove him
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:26 ] Lara Daluge > ok i report you for isk scam thank you for revealing your isk scam trick ^^
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will do nothing
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:40 ] Bane Cortex > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > It’s not a scam, and also scamming is legal in Eve
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:45 ] Lara Daluge > hope you get a permanent ban fk off shole
[ 2013.12.16 10:07:56 ] Lara Daluge > go earn your plex your dumbs
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:02 ] Lara Daluge > dun steal from others bitch
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:12 ] Lara Daluge > or do you want to come meet me face to face with your gang?
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will not kick me from your corp, and they will not ban me for ransoming you

Then this Lara Daluge guy goes full retard:
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:33 ] Lara Daluge > oei
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:35 ] Lara Daluge > Aixowa
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:37 ] Lara Daluge > you chicken?
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:44 ] Lara Daluge > bah you all scammers the same
[ 2013.12.16 10:08:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m not a scammer. I’m an awoxer.
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:08 ] Bane Cortex > yup
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > I joined your corp to kill your members
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:16 ] Lara Daluge > hey aixowa you want isk
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:18 ] Lara Daluge > i give you
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:21 ] Lara Daluge > 1 million bounty
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > Kill: Mia’a (Orca) Kill: Mia’a (Capsule)
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:34 ] Lara Daluge > oh you got 50 million ty i will keep my isk haha
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:40 ] Mia’a > oh noes….
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:42 ] Bane Cortex > thats from me
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:45 ] Lara Daluge > thnx boss
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:50 ] Lara Daluge > *high five*
[ 2013.12.16 10:09:55 ] Lara Daluge > *spits on dumb isk scammer*
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:13 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:15 ] Lara Daluge > Aixowa wtf you still doing here dumbo
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:26 ] Lara Daluge > meh prolly blocked me
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:28 ] Aixowa Sadface > I haven’t been paid yet
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > I would never block you
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:33 ] Lara Daluge > ima keep that email and give to ccp
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:35 ] Lara Daluge > opening ticket now
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:41 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP does not care
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:51 ] Bane Cortex > plz pention ccp to remove him from corp
[ 2013.12.16 10:10:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > They love this sort of stuff.
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:00 ] Lara Daluge > i want him permanent ban
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > I have done nothing that will get me banned
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:15 ] Lara Daluge > steal isk from players who subscribe to the game while this fker steals isk to play for free
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:23 ] Lara Daluge > is not contributing to ccp in anyway
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:29 ] Lara Daluge > only making eve online a horrible experience
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:33 ] Aixowa Sadface > But it’s within the rules of the game
[ 2013.12.16 10:11:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > This is Eve Online. It’s a cold, harsh universe.
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > And this happened because your CEO recruited without doing the proper background checks first
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:33 ] Lara Daluge > lol he block me and removed his messages from my screen
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:42 ] Lara Daluge > can anyone here type i took a screenshot already
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:49 ] Bane Cortex > yea
[ 2013.12.16 10:12:57 ] Lara Daluge > he going to get it what a noob isk scammer
[ 2013.12.16 10:13:11 ] EVE System > Channel MOTD changed to: “Keep an eye on local if you see Aixowa Sadface dock up plz.plz remained docked untill further notice” by Bane Cortex.
[ 2013.12.16 10:13:45 ] Lara Daluge > i give him 898989 isk which means fufufu in dialect
[ 2013.12.16 10:14:11 ] Lara Daluge > erm bounty haha

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.16 10:14

Lara Daluge placed 898,989 ISK in bounty on your head.

These guys really seemed to think I was doing something that was against the rules.

[ 2013.12.16 10:24:56 ] Bane Cortex > so bro
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:03 ] Bane Cortex > r u gonna leave or do i need to ticket this?
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can’t ticket it
[ 2013.12.16 10:25:19 ] Aixowa Sadface > CCP will tell you they can’t do anything about it

[ 2013.12.16 20:58:21 ] Tygress Shadow > This ‘hostage’ dynamic is very confusing.
[ 2013.12.16 20:58:27 ] Tygress Shadow > Are you our friend?
[ 2013.12.16 20:58:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > I guess you could consider me an enemy
[ 2013.12.16 20:59:02 ] Bane Cortex > no hes a D-bag whos gonna get banned

After that he sent me like 25 fleet invites. Since he was in a Curse I didn’t want to fight him without my logi, and he logged for the night before my logi made it into system. Fortunately he pulled the same thing the next day with my logi already in system, and after I killed his Curse he immediately offered to pay the ransom in the form of a fitted Apoc to get rid of me.


My next mark was a small missioning/mining corp. I don’t remember much about them. When I joined, the only ones online were the CEO and his alt, and neither flew anything worth killing.

This CEO was really dense. I mean really, really dense. Both of the previous CEO’s tried to white knight me within two hours of my joining the corp, and the dude ignored them and basically told them to fuck off.

[ 2013.12.16 23:32:41 ] Dash Auduin > Bane Cortex you know this guy?
[ 2013.12.16 23:32:55 ] Aixowa Sadface > Did he convo you?
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:02 ] Dash Auduin > yep
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:23 ] Dash Auduin > asked if i knew who i recruited
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol. Well he doesn’t know who I am either.
[ 2013.12.16 23:33:59 ] Dash Auduin > oh the bitch left
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:04 ] Dash Auduin > who was he?
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:23 ] Aixowa Sadface > The CEO of the last corp I was in
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:29 ] Aixowa Sadface > He’s kind of a dick, which is why I left
[ 2013.12.16 23:34:48 ] Dash Auduin > yeeeah bitch shouldnt get in my business.
[ 2013.12.16 23:35:07 ] Dash Auduin > im very accepting in eve til someone crosses me.

[ 2013.12.17 00:50:58 ] Dash Auduin > man lots of people dont like
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > Lots of people don’t like what?
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:30 ] Dash Auduin > kurs Maulerant
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:37 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:43 ] Dash Auduin > haha im getting a lot of flak for accepting you
[ 2013.12.17 00:52:48 ] Dash Auduin > not that i care
[ 2013.12.17 00:55:19 ] Dash Auduin > he said you ransomed his corp. welly played hah
[ 2013.12.17 00:55:51 ] Dash Auduin > he assumed i didnt know you were an alt ofc
[ 2013.12.17 00:56:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 00:59:41 ] Dash Auduin > hes like i highly doubt she told you straight up and i was like actually she did and shes got a lot of alts that are high sp and very dangerous, im not an idiot, good day.
[ 2013.12.17 00:59:44 ] Dash Auduin > pwned
[ 2013.12.17 01:00:07 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:01:54 ] Dash Auduin > im getting pissed, all these people convoing me i think theyre asking about the corp, but yet here they are questioning my intelligence when they were stupid enough to get burned
[ 2013.12.17 01:02:04 ] Dash Auduin > pansies, the lot
[ 2013.12.17 01:07:53 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:07:59 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well you shouldn’t get any more convos
[ 2013.12.17 01:08:53 ] Dash Auduin > haha think so?
[ 2013.12.17 01:11:07 ] Aixowa Sadface > Maybe. Hopefully. lol
[ 2013.12.17 01:13:30 ] Emma Chasteau > look man. i dont give a shit what you do, or did. whatever. long as you dont do it to us, youll be fine, you know.

The only worthwhile ship this guy owned was his Navy Hurricane, which he was too scared to do anything with. It took a while for me to convince him to undock it so I could see it, and after that he absolutely refused to move off the station with it.

After a while the other main member of the corp logged in. We chatted for a bit and he started linking all kinds of terrible, stupidly expensive ships. When he and the CEO were running missions, I decided to hit the CEO’s alt who had been mining next door in a Retriever. My timing was accidentally perfect, because the two of them had just jumped into system when I landed on grid with it.

[ 2013.12.17 02:21:47 ] Emma Chasteau > i see you there
[ 2013.12.17 02:21:53 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:22:53 ] Emma Chasteau > dash isnt far away, just so you now

From there they warped in a Navy Drake and a Hurricane. I immediately primaried the Drake, because every good FC knows you always primary the Drake.

[ 2013.12.17 02:25:50 ] Horyuu > ow
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you eject from the navy Drake and leave, I will leave the corp
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:27 ] Horyuu > okay
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:32 ] Aixowa Sadface > If not I will stick around and kill you guys, and then wardec you
[ 2013.12.17 02:26:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > Eject

To my surprise, he ejected without much hesitation. I locked his pod, but decided to be a nice guy and let him warp it off.

[ 2013.12.17 02:27:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > Now warp off

Except instead he decided to remind me why I should never be a nice guy in Eve. He jumped back in the ship and…

[ 2013.12.17 02:27:37 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:27:42 ] Aixowa Sadface > One more time. This time leave. :P
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:00 ] Horyuu > How about this?

… immediately started self destructing it.

[ 2013.12.17 02:28:24 ] Horyuu > shit, can’t eject
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:29 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 02:28:30 ] Horyuu > weapon activation
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:02 ] Aixowa Sadface > Stop the self destruct
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you eject, I will leave peacefully
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:38 ] Horyuu > and then you will take my ship and make tons of isk off of me. I would rather lost it on my own damn terms you fuckhead
[ 2013.12.17 02:29:54 ] Aixowa Sadface > You are losing the Drake tiher way
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:02 ] Aixowa Sadface > But your corp will lose much more if you force me to kill it
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:34 ] Aixowa Sadface > I should have podded you when I locked your pod, but I was trying to be a nice guy
[ 2013.12.17 02:30:40 ] Aixowa Sadface > Thanks for teaching me otherwise

So there you go, you would have had a Navy Drake in addition to everything else you got if I wasn’t so bad at this game. Sucks to be you I guess. Fortunately the Navy Drake dropped 325M worth of faction mods anyway.

[ 2013.12.17 02:32:38 ] Aixowa Sadface > 325M worth of loot I got. But unfortunately that won’t make a good secret santa gift now that it’s all blown up. :(
[ 2013.12.17 02:32:56 ] Horyuu > good
[ 2013.12.17 02:33:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you want me to leave you will have to give me a nice ship to wrap these mods in

[ 2013.12.17 02:41:15 ] Horyuu > and so you thought it was a great idea to hop in a new corp, pretend that the 90m bounty on your head was from griefers, try to ransom me for my expensive missioning toy after nuking emma knowing one of us would come
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:35 ] Aixowa Sadface > Yes, basically
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:40 ] Aixowa Sadface > I didn’t know it was as expensive as it was
[ 2013.12.17 02:41:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > That would have made a great Christmas gift

I was pretty happy with the faction mods, but I wasn’t going to leave without a ship to fit them to. I gave them the option of contracting me a Drake, which they accepted.


So, that night I joined a new corp by the name of Asteroid Raiders. Nothing was going on and it was getting late, so I just called it a night.

The next day I asked one of their members to come with me for a level 4 mission, and I killed his Armageddon. Well, Concord got the final blow when he shot my logi alt, but I did most of the work.

[ 2013.12.17 19:38:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well that was unfortunate
[ 2013.12.17 19:38:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > Would you like to pay me to save your pod?
[ 2013.12.17 19:38:38 ] captin bobin > fuck you
[ 2013.12.17 19:41:32 ] captin bobin > kiss my ass as my sub is up tomm so idc

I never got a ransom out of these guys, but I got some of the most amusing tears I’ve had in recent memory, so that definitely made up for it.

[ 2013.12.17 23:16:48 ] Viper Antillion > o/
[ 2013.12.17 23:16:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > o/
[ 2013.12.17 23:16:54 ] Viper Antillion > i heard capn attacked you?!
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:26 ] Aixowa Sadface > The whole mail exchange was a troll. I attacked him.
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:41 ] Viper Antillion > yeah i was aware of that. guess the false sense of security thing is gone
[ 2013.12.17 23:17:49 ] Viper Antillion > your a bitch i hope you know that
[ 2013.12.17 23:18:00 ] Viper Antillion > I do have a propisiton for you though :)
[ 2013.12.17 23:18:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right. Let’s hear yours, and then I will give you mine afterwards.
[ 2013.12.17 23:19:36 ] Viper Antillion > You leave the corp. right away actually and we will not have to put a 200,000,000 isk bounty on you then higher about 2-3 major merc alliance to come and make your life hell :)
[ 2013.12.17 23:19:59 ] Viper Antillion > actually i dont want to hear your side of it
[ 2013.12.17 23:20:18 ] Viper Antillion > ignorant jack asses generally dont have too much between the ears
[ 2013.12.17 23:20:22 ] Viper Antillion > good bye :) )

[ 2013.12.17 23:22:13 ] Viper Antillion > Marcus Rinkles Aixowa Sadface <– total bitch bounty as much as you like she will be removed asap and added as a target to the unofficial high-sec alliance of mercs :)

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.17 23:24

Viper Antillion placed 200,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.

[ 2013.12.17 23:25:18 ] Viper Antillion > she thinks she can weild some sort of contorl over corperations. Basically by beeing an attention horing bitch she thinks we will pay here to leave

[ 2013.12.17 23:25:56 ] Viper Antillion > by the time we’re done w. her she will have over 1 bill isk in bounty and about 13 corps hunting her down
[ 2013.12.17 23:25:58 ] Marcus Rinkles > we would camp the staion and never let her leave
[ 2013.12.17 23:26:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > dont worry i talked to my null sec corp and they are heade this way now
[ 2013.12.17 23:26:52 ] Viper Antillion > she is prob. out there in a battlehsip or some such. i will go get a nice little fit and once the other 20 people are on we will track her down and blow her up over and over again. it should be fun

[ 2013.12.17 23:34:54 ] Viper Antillion > yeah like she knows what anything is. She dosent even understand how ransom works! You need to be a bit more htan just a mild inconvience to require a ransom and even then … good luck

[ 2013.12.17 23:36:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > so how many times have you done this Aixowa Sadface
[ 2013.12.17 23:37:14 ] Viper Antillion > how many times has she attempted to do this you mean. You would have to be an IDIOT to comply w. her bull shit
[ 2013.12.17 23:37:52 ] Viper Antillion > yeah over 1 bill in bounties will raise a few red flags. and we will contact any corp who highers you immedietly

[ 2013.12.17 23:39:33 ] Viper Antillion > sadface. guess what. you just hit the mark that will ruin your oh so glorious career
[ 2013.12.17 23:39:46 ] Aixowa Sadface > lol. You’re right.
[ 2013.12.17 23:39:56 ] Aixowa Sadface > Some scrub mining corp full of noobs will be the end of me.
[ 2013.12.17 23:40:40 ] Viper Antillion > yeah try a 20+ man indy corp w. vets from the begninning of the game all communications will cease you will be blocked by all members and we will not respond to any further communications
[ 2013.12.17 23:40:42 ] Viper Antillion > good bye
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:02 ] Viper Antillion > All members in room block mr. sadface
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:07 ] Marcus Rinkles > blocked
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:36 ] captin bobin > i blocked his ass after he try to ransom me lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:41:44 ] Viper Antillion > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:42:01 ] captin bobin > i do not bow down to pirates

[ 2013.12.17 23:51:57 ] Marcus Rinkles > i was gonna do some mining but now looking at pvp fits
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:19 ] Viper Antillion > yeahh sounds good i could use some pew pew anywyas.
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:27 ] xFoxycleopatrax > i see we have an attn whore piece or shit in corp
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:39 ] Viper Antillion > whats the point of this shiny billion isk battleship if it just sits here all day lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:41 ] Marcus Rinkles > very well said lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:47 ] captin bobin > lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:52:53 ] Viper Antillion > xFoxycleopatrax lol too true
[ 2013.12.17 23:53:02 ] Viper Antillion > block her immedietly and bounty to your hearts content :)

[ 2013.12.17 23:54:40 ] Viper Antillion > ahh no worries. ill just keep droppin bounties on her every day till she leaves. next corp she tries to hit….
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:08 ] Viper Antillion > the response will be, “umm sooo just one quick question…. the 2.5 billion isk bounty…. that from playing nice and doing right by your previous corps is it??” lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:09 ] Marcus Rinkles > wow i wish i knew anything about pvp lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:16 ] captin bobin > yup hit me with a scram and a nuet so i was dead in the water lol
[ 2013.12.17 23:55:37 ] xFoxycleopatrax > just added 100 mil to that

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.17 23:55

xFoxycleopatrax placed 100,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.

[ 2013.12.17 23:57:26 ] xFoxycleopatrax > i let her see everything i wrote i dont give a crap she can suck my hypothetical dick :) i saw her blow up cappy
[ 2013.12.17 23:58:33 ] captin bobin > Dextrust i think this is the logi pilot
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:11 ] Viper Antillion > yeahh just thank god for the block button attnetion whores are annoying
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:32 ] xFoxycleopatrax > people who dont want to actually work for their isk
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:45 ] Viper Antillion > indeed foxy
[ 2013.12.17 23:59:57 ] captin bobin > yes this is the guy
[ 2013.12.18 00:00:21 ] Viper Antillion > mmk send it up to freind

[ 2013.12.18 00:04:07 ] captin bobin > lol and he is a corp of 1 Dextrust lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:04:26 ] Viper Antillion > ohhh nooo 1 whole character ?! what ever will we do
[ 2013.12.18 00:05:07 ] captin bobin > pod his ass till he hides lol im so tempted to gank him lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:05:26 ] captin bobin > dessis are cheap
[ 2013.12.18 00:06:23 ] Marcus Rinkles > do it if you really want to
[ 2013.12.18 00:07:46 ] xFoxycleopatrax > so can we go out and hunt her
[ 2013.12.18 00:07:52 ] Viper Antillion > yeah go for it
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:14 ] captin bobin > oh oh there moveing
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:15 ] Viper Antillion > id reccommend bringing along another person or two. says she is cloaked up in berye somewhere idk.
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:29 ] Marcus Rinkles > i can be bait lol
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:48 ] Marcus Rinkles > i am running destroyer
[ 2013.12.18 00:08:54 ] Marcus Rinkles > with cap drain
[ 2013.12.18 00:09:39 ] captin bobin > ahhh hes running away …..
[ 2013.12.18 00:09:43 ] Viper Antillion > niice she will have (probably just multiboxing an alt) some other dude there repping her.
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:06 ] Viper Antillion > ahh poor widdle sadface runnin for the hills
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:10 ] captin bobin > Dextrust is the logi pilot
[ 2013.12.18 00:10:54 ] Viper Antillion > good to know we will bounty and merc that guy as well. its prob. just her alt though

[ 2013.12.18 00:52:04 ] RoidsOnMyAss > the best part is his name, aixowa = awoxia sadface
[ 2013.12.18 00:52:31 ] Grimreaperxx > I’m slightly unsure how no one saw this coming.
[ 2013.12.18 00:53:00 ] RoidsOnMyAss > was very preventable tbh

[ 2013.12.18 00:59:38 ] Frastus > (S)he can see corp chat, FYI
[ 2013.12.18 01:00:23 ] Viper Antillion > yeah thats alright she will liek to read all about the orginization and sucesfull execution of us poping her :)

When I realized 6 or 7 of them were forming up to kill me I pinged for more logi in BU just in case. I was a shield tanked Gnosis, and I had one T1 shield logi and then 3 armor logi. When they finally attacked me, they brought a Myrm, a Blackbird and some destroyers, most of which died thanks to the projected ECCM from my logi.

After their showing I decided to be a nice guy again and drop the ransom amount to 100m as a thanks for entertaining me. I decided to convo the CEO when he got on to give him one chance to pay the ransom.

[ 2013.12.18 01:49:53 ] Friendsolo > so it means your a cunt is all dec away

Bounty placed on you
Sent: 2013.12.18 21:33

Loco Poco placed 9,000,000 ISK in bounty on your head.

So we dropped a couple wardecs to the corp, killed a few of their miners over the next 24 hours, and then I left about when the wars started to hit one last corp before my week of awoxing was up.


So after I left that last corp, I was wondering how I was going to find a corp with a recruiter who wouldn’t notice or care that I had a 400M bounty and had been in 5 different player corps in the last few days. Fortunately, after spending two minutes in the Recruitment channel, I found a recruiter literally advertising the fact that his corp doesn’t do backround checks. I’m not even exaggerating.

After I joined, I positioned myself close to where the CEO was, and then asked if anyone in the corp wanted to run missions with me. When he was on his way to run missions in his Legion with the blatant awoxer was when he decided to finally look into me and ask some questions.

[ 2013.12.19 04:14:39 ] Puraimaru > what kind of mission has you in a gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:12 ] Puraimaru > my information may be 5 mins out of date
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > All I can fly are BCs. I’ve been going with other people on their missions up until now.
[ 2013.12.19 04:15:56 ] Aixowa Sadface > That’s why I need help.
[ 2013.12.19 04:16:06 ] Puraimaru > oh

[ 2013.12.19 04:28:47 ] Puraimaru > why have you been in so many corps in the past month if you do not mind me asking?
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:09 ] Puraimaru > and wanted for so much?
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:14 ] Aixowa Sadface > Hard to find a good fit. The last one I was going to stay in but now they are at war.
(At war with my alt corp, as well as Killing With A Smile. LOL)
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:29 ] Puraimaru > ouch I hate war
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:44 ] Puraimaru > just dock up and let it pass
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > And the bounty is from some suicide gankers who tried to kill me
[ 2013.12.19 04:29:52 ] Aixowa Sadface > They and their friends just keep adding more to it
[ 2013.12.19 04:30:13 ] Puraimaru > sounds like suicide gankers to me
[ 2013.12.19 04:33:57 ] Puraimaru > 4 jumps out
[ 2013.12.19 04:34:04 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right
[ 2013.12.19 04:38:27 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can just warp to me when you get here

And so he warped to me in my mission.

[ 2013.12.19 04:40:39 ] Puraimaru > hmm?
[ 2013.12.19 04:41:36 ] Puraimaru > welcome to the boot
[ 2013.12.19 04:43:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > You won’t be able to boot me

[ 2013.12.19 04:44:18 ] Aixowa Sadface > So
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Do you want to save your Legion?
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:27 ] Puraimaru > here we are
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:32 ] Puraimaru > how much?
[ 2013.12.19 04:44:57 ] Aixowa Sadface > I’m not taking ISK, but the ransom includes saving your Legion (plus SP loss) and my immediate dropping of your corp
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me a ship, fitted, worth at least 500m
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:17 ] Puraimaru > my corp has no taxes
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:19 ] Aixowa Sadface > You can do it from space
[ 2013.12.19 04:45:36 ] Aixowa Sadface > Just use your assets list
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you bring help I will just kill you immediately
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:17 ] Puraimaru > hmm?
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:31 ] Puraimaru > how can I bring help I know noone
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:47 ] Aixowa Sadface > So are you considering the ransom?
[ 2013.12.19 04:46:53 ] Puraimaru > aye
[ 2013.12.19 04:47:04 ] Puraimaru > but how do I know you will not blow me up anyway?
[ 2013.12.19 04:47:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > I always honor ransoms. If I didn’t, nobody would ever pay them.

[ 2013.12.19 04:48:21 ] Aixowa Sadface > Well a few days I ransomed a Proteus and let him go when he paid
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:25 ] Aixowa Sadface > But the pilot isn’t on
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:42 ] Puraimaru > http://eveboard.com/pilot/Puraimaru
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:51 ] Puraimaru > as you can see I do not have 500M
[ 2013.12.19 04:48:58 ] Aixowa Sadface > I don’t want ISK
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:06 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me a ship valued at that much
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:09 ] Puraimaru > what do you want?
[ 2013.12.19 04:49:14 ] Puraimaru > oh
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:03 ] Puraimaru > abbadon work?
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:22 ] Aixowa Sadface > Is it faction fit?
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:33 ] Puraimaru > cant remember
[ 2013.12.19 04:50:50 ] Aixowa Sadface > If you don’t have one ship worth 500m you can contract me two
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:09 ] Puraimaru > want another gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:24 ] Aixowa Sadface > Abaddon + Gnosis?
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:31 ] Puraimaru > oh omen navy is faction fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:51:51 ] Puraimaru > seeing if I saved fittings
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:12 ] Puraimaru > Pura Omen Nav
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:30 ] Aixowa Sadface > Is the Gnosis fit or unfit?
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:37 ] Puraimaru > unfit
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:53 ] Puraimaru > augoror?
[ 2013.12.19 04:52:55 ] Puraimaru > not fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:11 ] Aixowa Sadface > Contract me the Abaddon and the Navy Omen
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:18 ] Aixowa Sadface > Those two will add up to 500m
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:34 ] Aixowa Sadface > Navy Omen is only worth 200m on its own, even with faction fittings
[ 2013.12.19 04:53:59 ] Puraimaru > abaddon is worth over 500M
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:04 ] Aixowa Sadface > Link the fit
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:15 ] Puraimaru > cannot it is not saved
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > All right, send the Abaddon contract and I will value it. If it is over 500m that will be enough.
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:32 ] Puraimaru > but that is what the contract thing is telling me
[ 2013.12.19 04:54:49 ] Aixowa Sadface > Those things are usually wrong
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:12 ] Aixowa Sadface > Let me know when the contract is up
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:19 ] Puraimaru > up
[ 2013.12.19 04:55:37 ] Puraimaru > and damn you for takeing advantage of a friend

The Abaddon contract actually included the Augoror as well, and it was only valued at about 470M. But even if it was worth much more than 500m I would have told him to send the Navy Omen anyway.

[ 2013.12.19 04:55:49 ] Aixowa Sadface > 400m according to Jita prices
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:00 ] Aixowa Sadface > So please contract the Navy Omen as well
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:17 ] Puraimaru > damn
[ 2013.12.19 04:56:19 ] Puraimaru > ok
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:08 ] Puraimaru > finnished?
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:11 ] Puraimaru > now can I go
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:36 ] Aixowa Sadface > Cool, got it

Now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that up until now I’ve honored all of my ransoms. I always honor ransoms. But I know you guys never honor them, so I figured I would dishonor one just for you. Plus I knew his Legion was full of tasty faction mods, and I really wanted to make him lose SP.

[ 2013.12.19 04:57:45 ] Aixowa Sadface > Now I normally always honor ransoms
[ 2013.12.19 04:57:56 ] Puraimaru > normaly?
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:03 ] Aixowa Sadface > Unfortunately, this is a Christmas thing for a friend of mine, and he never honors ransoms
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:10 ] Aixowa Sadface > So in his honor I think you have to die. Sorry. :P
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:18 ] Puraimaru > DAMN YOU
[ 2013.12.19 04:58:40 ] Puraimaru > I paid your randsome

When I told him I was going to dishonor the ransom, I sent out my drones but I didn’t aggress him. I was about to offer him a second chance to escape in exchange for a “Merry Christmas Perseus!” (which I also would have dishonored) but while I was writing it he shot me and pulled aggro from my drones, and he was dead before I had even noticed.

[ 2013.12.19 04:59:08 ] Aixowa Sadface > Did you shoot me and aggro my drones?
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:16 ] Aixowa Sadface > I was going to give oyu one more chance, lol
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:25 ] Aixowa Sadface > Sorry, my mistake
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:28 ] Puraimaru > fuck you
[ 2013.12.19 04:59:31 ] Aixowa Sadface > You actually committed suicide there

So then I asked one more time for a “Merry Christmas” in corp chat and they all refused. So I decided to stick around for one more day so I could ransom the corp or another ship for it. So the next day I caught a Retriever who was AFK, and I managed to get someone else in the corp to wish you a “Merry Christmas” in exchange for his life and me dropping corp.

Tips for building rapport in your future victims.

In any social situation in eve, a victim’s guard is likely going to default into the up position, knowing that this is a game largely about betrayal. This is something that makes any kind of social engineering much more difficult and is a hurdle to overcome. As social engineering is an important component of what we do, from scams to getting recruited, it’s important to have some tools to quickly build rapport and give your victim the impression that the two of you are fast on your way to becoming friends.


To that end, have some tips that have served me well in this regard.


  1. Seek common ground.


Humans are wired to live in communities. We want people like us around us for a host of reasons including mutual protection. Not only that, but we’re predisposed to favor those most like us. A quick way to give your victim the impression that you are like them is to find some kind of commonality and bond over it. For space related things that can be as simple as a shared profession that you can talk about (“I love wormholes, I lived in a c5-c5 for about six months once and we did X and Y and Z!”) or a shared political opinion (“grr goons”). You can also bond over your real life experiences based on something like a common profession (I find I frequently bond with people over my time as a soldier) or an area you both know or an interest you both hold.


Just make this a topic of conversation and hang out with your new friend for a bit. Take some time to bond without directly forwarding your agenda and it will pay dividends in the future.


  1. Use voice chat


You don’t have to do this all the time, and sometimes you find the victim to be so repulsive on comms that you can’t carry on being on comms with them, but if you can spend some time talking to your new friend voice-to-voice it can often be a huge help.


Another thing that should be noted about being on voice with someone else: Smile while you’re talking. Be in a positive frame of mind. Both of these things are conveyed very clearly to the person on the other end and help you immensely.


  1. Do something for your victim


Humans are wired to want to reciprocate gifts or acts of kindness done to them. It’s wired very deeply into us and opens us up to exploitation by a person consciously manipulating the effect. You might think that this means you’ll have to dump actual material goods into someone under the hope that your plot succeeds and recuperates that cost, but luckily for you advice or service is a valid gift for these purposes. All you have to do is seek some area of the game or some pursuit outside of it that you are more knowledgeable than your victim and offer them a bit of advice on how to be successful in that pursuit.


  1. Seek small yesses.


If you set up an expectation within your victim that they are going to go along with you, you can ride that expectation slowly further and to greater heights. This starts with seeking small ways to get the victim to agree with you or go along with your plans. One of the easiest ways to do that is to ask them to do things they were going to do anyways or is absolutely zero effort for them (“Hey, would you be willing to grab me some Hobgoblins while you’re in Jita? I seem to have accidentally abandoned mine somewhere.”)


These build up into an expectation that what you’re requesting is going to be reasonable and that’s something you can take strong advantage of.

In which I run the exact same scam on someone twice with the same character.

So about a month ago I was doing my usual trolling of recruitment when I got a bite. He was a returning player named Vile Wretch who was starting a corp and wanted experienced players like myself to help him get it started. It was to be a paragon of fraternity, equality, and liberty. But his first action was to recruit me without checking me out in the slightest, so that didn’t work out.


It was just me and him in corp, but I smelled deep pockets and naivety, so I got to work. Now humans have a tendancy to conform with a crowd, even when that crowd is glaringly wrong, so as a key member on the ground floor of this I took the opportunity to fill the corp with four or five of my friends in order to take advantage of this.


Several of us have wormhole experience, so in the private convo we were having on the side we decided that getting this guy to pony up for a wormhole operation was going to be the best way to soak money from this guy. We started talking profitability numbers and backing up each others stories in teamspeak and soon he was in Jita buying us POSs and moon goos and whatnot.


Eventually we claimed we had found a perfect hole and he handed about 1.4b worth of stuff over to my freighter alt and logged off for the night. We had a laugh and high-fived each other and waited for the next day to break it to him.


He never came back on. I stuck around the corp as a director for a bit, using it for the odd bit of wardec or reverse safari before getting bored and leaving.


Over a month later he convoed me.


[ 2013.12.08 04:36:44 ] Psychotic Monk > How’s it going?

[ 2013.12.08 04:36:47 ] Vile Wretch > Psychotic, first off, I apologize for not being here.

[ 2013.12.08 04:37:12 ] Vile Wretch > I know it has been a couple weeks. I had joined Eve and was determined to get this corp up and running.

[ 2013.12.08 04:38:02 ] Vile Wretch > We set up steps for success that first night, however, I had an immediate death in the family.

[ 2013.12.08 04:38:22 ] Psychotic Monk > I’m sorry to hear that.

[ 2013.12.08 04:38:34 ] Psychotic Monk > You should have dropped me a mail.

[ 2013.12.08 04:38:49 ] Vile Wretch > It’s something I’ve been attending to and had to drop all of this, I’m sorry for not contacting you guys :(

[ 2013.12.08 04:39:16 ] Psychotic Monk > It’s totally okay. I’m sorry for your loss.

[ 2013.12.08 04:39:19 ] Vile Wretch > I’m reading mails from Bihiri Nova showing we started to grow.

[ 2013.12.08 04:39:59 ] Vile Wretch > Thank you by the way, it still blows and I’m sorry I didn’t follow through on original promises. That is something I owe you, an apology.

[ 2013.12.08 04:40:34 ] Psychotic Monk > It’s totally okay. I understand.

[ 2013.12.08 04:40:37 ] Psychotic Monk > Are you back now?

[ 2013.12.08 04:41:10 ] Vile Wretch > Yes, I am. I’m sure you’ve moved on; I wanted to see if you still would like to head towards the original plan?

[ 2013.12.08 04:41:48 ] Vile Wretch > I’m going to contact Bihiri as well and offer my full apologies.

[ 2013.12.08 04:42:18 ] Vile Wretch > Same plan as described before. I do understand if you can’t trust me after something like that :(

[ 2013.12.08 04:42:22 ] Psychotic Monk > We could probably do that, yeah. In fact, I’ve made more friends, even, that I’m sure would be into the whole thing.


So it looked like we were set up to do this whole thing again. He seemed to already trust me, so I didn’t call in the chorus to help me on this one. He did ask where the last set of gear he gave me went, though.


[ 2013.12.08 05:08:53 ] Vile Wretch > If you give me a chance, Psychotic, I promise you I won’t let you down this time.

[ 2013.12.08 05:10:50 ] Psychotic Monk > Don’t worry. It’s fine.

[ 2013.12.08 05:12:37 ] Psychotic Monk > I guess I’ll have to find a new wormhole, huh?

[ 2013.12.08 05:13:10 ] Vile Wretch > IDK, tbh. With Rubicon, what’s the best path?

[ 2013.12.08 05:14:37 ] Psychotic Monk > Rubicon hasn’t changed the viability of wormholes or moon goo reactions. I will have to watch for siphons somewhat dilligently.

[ 2013.12.08 05:15:04 ] Vile Wretch > We got into a war with Molestation Nation?

[ 2013.12.08 05:15:32 ] Psychotic Monk > We did. It was fun, iirc.

[ 2013.12.08 05:17:01 ] Vile Wretch > I’m seeing to we received around 12 members in total as well. Do we still have the PoS equipment?

[ 2013.12.08 05:18:15 ] Psychotic Monk > Um… it got liquidated when we decided you weren’t coming back. Sorry.

[ 2013.12.08 05:18:32 ] Vile Wretch > Np my man. Let’s set up more.


So we got to work finding a hole. He scanned for several hours and I eventually just contacted someone on wormholesales.com for a cheap wormhole and they were nice enough to hook me up with one for free because they were a fan. (Shoutouts to anonymous scanner alt!)


He gave all the stuff and more to my hauler alt again, totalling about 2.1b and we went to the hole location. I even set up the tower and put a bit of fuel in it and we ran a site just to give him the flavour of this whole thing. He went to bed with just the bare tower up and him logged out at it and I took it down.


I caught up with him again the next day.


[23:42:14] Vile Wretch > hey hey

[23:42:46] Psychotic Monk > Oh, hey man.

[23:42:49] Psychotic Monk > Glad you’re here.

[23:43:28] Vile Wretch > yeah just got back slept in and went to work later in this morning

[23:43:34] Psychotic Monk > Cool.

[23:43:38] Vile Wretch > hows everything?

[23:43:44] Psychotic Monk > Good for me.

[23:43:57] Psychotic Monk > So listen, I need you to do something for me.

[23:44:12] Vile Wretch > sure what is it

[23:44:36] Psychotic Monk > Do any of the following things: Check my killboard, check my medals, check my bio, check my corp history or google me.

[23:44:56] Vile Wretch > yeah, already see the towers down.

[23:45:09] Psychotic Monk > Yeah. I stole it. I stole the last one, too.

[23:45:33] Vile Wretch > np mate good ventures to you had hoped this would work.

[23:45:38] Psychotic Monk > I’m going to do real talk for a second, though.

[23:46:09] Psychotic Monk > You should have checked me out long ago. Before bringing me into corp, and way before making me director or giving me a bunch of assets.

[23:46:40] Psychotic Monk > And you’re a super nice guy, but I’m not sure you’re a good choice to be a CEO of anything until you’re a bit better at the game.

[23:46:44] Vile Wretch > its all good. already knew your history. had hoped it would be different. Ohwell.

[23:47:13] Psychotic Monk > At what point did you know about my history?

[23:47:32] Vile Wretch > like I said just getting back into this. probably going to join a pvp corp to get back into the groove.

[23:47:56] Vile Wretch > already got multiple mails from different people telling me about you, also, I checked the forums rigorously.

[23:48:05] Psychotic Monk > For sure. You really need to know how to defend your corp from dudes like me before you make a corp.

[23:48:25] Vile Wretch > You want to play this game that way fine by you. You could of asked me I would have given it to you :P

[23:48:46] Vile Wretch > Just wish you didnt leave me in WH space without a scanner hah

[23:49:01] Psychotic Monk > Well in that case, could I please have about 3b?

[23:49:13] Vile Wretch > not now ;p

[23:49:32] Psychotic Monk > The holes should still be up, but you were cool and I’ll scan you out if you like.

[23:50:27] Psychotic Monk > In any case, seriously, get your feet under you before you try to protect and guide some other players. I could probably recommend some outfits, if you like.

[23:50:27] Vile Wretch > its alright just self destructing.

[23:51:01] Psychotic Monk > Alright. Although I recall your drake had some medium expensive mods on it. I’m perfectly willing to find the lowsec static for you.


[23:57:05] Psychotic Monk > Listen, though, I’m still all about giving people info and advice. Anything you need advice on?

[23:57:49] Vile Wretch > not that I can think of, Monk.

[23:58:30] Psychotic Monk > Alright then.



So he was very chill about it, which shows a really good attitude about the whole thing. I laid my scanner alt on the tower location to give his Drake a route out of the hole, since he’d been cool, but found only a small gang of murderers in that spot, including a friend of mine, who I convoed.


[23:54:43] Sith1s Spectre > hey monk

[23:54:43] Psychotic Monk > Very small world.

[23:54:56] Psychotic Monk > I *just* ran a theft in the exact spot you’re sitting.

[23:55:01] Sith1s Spectre > lol

[23:55:21] Psychotic Monk > You guys in a nearby static or doing something more serious?

[23:55:31] Sith1s Spectre > nothing serious planned

[23:55:34] Sith1s Spectre > just scouting

[23:55:48] Psychotic Monk > Oh, okay, cool.

[23:56:09] Sith1s Spectre > we’re pulling back – nothing of real interst here for us

[23:56:16] Sith1s Spectre > apart from a now dead drake

[23:56:21] Sith1s Spectre > <url=killReport:35227900:1928dc1da825eadc90b02d4bc0aeec3286083edd>Kill: Vile Wretch (Drake)</url>  <url=killReport:35227908:a653e8e3fe7abfd26311405157d2110eba74e909>Kill: Vile Wretch (Capsule)</url>

[23:56:43] Psychotic Monk > Yup, that’s the guy I stole about 3.6b from.

[23:57:01] Sith1s Spectre > lol

[23:57:44] Sith1s Spectre > did you just see us kill him or something?

[23:58:10] Sith1s Spectre > i mean, fuck he must be having a bad day, 1st he gets robbed, then we drop on him as he’s self destructing his drake

[23:58:14] Psychotic Monk > Nope.  We’re in corp together.  I took down the tower while he was sleeping and just broke the news to him.

[00:00:07] Sith1s Spectre > but yeah, all yours bud, we’ve pulled out – got 3 other holes nearby to check out

[00:00:12] Psychotic Monk > ♥

[00:00:18] Psychotic Monk > Now to line up the next targets.

[00:00:21] Psychotic Monk > o/

[00:00:23] Sith1s Spectre > :)

[00:00:25] Sith1s Spectre > o/

So, with our target robbed twice and murdered, but now safely in station, he made Monk the CEO and logged off. I hope he does well, he was a reasonably cool guy.

SuicideGank4Good was a huge success!

On Wednesday I saw an announcement that Solstice Project, famous suicide ganker, was selling his character and giving all the money to Plex4Good to benefit the victims of Hurricane Haiyan. Guys in the professions sometimes quit and are occationally prone to blowing up all their assets in a dramatic fashion. I really hate to see that happen because I want to hold hope that these titans will rise from the dead someday and get involved again. Many of them do, but that’s very difficult to do when you burn your bridges. On top of that, I didn’t want to see Solstice Project fall into the hands of some carebear and find the once noble character chained to some stupid mission running boat or something like that.


I didn’t have the 20b he was asking, so I brainstormed how we could meets Soltice’s goal of raising money for Plex4Good and keep his toon out of the hands of the enemy. What I landed on was a suicide gank telethon for charity.


Solstice Project wasn’t interested, but I was in love with the idea already anyways, so I carried on.


I spread the word and I had a friend whip me up a poster and we started it on Friday at 0000 eve time.


I was super nervous that I would have maybe six viewers and raise a half a bil or something super dissapointing like that. It went much better than that.


I wrangled the lovely Mrs Monk to handle some organizational tasks for me and Av Ra stepped in to help co-host the whole thing and the donations started pouring in. At the one hour mark we had raised 10 bil. The stream count started climbing. At the three hour mark we were at slightly more than 30b. We started doing things like auctioning off items like free wardecs from some of my friends, Cannibal Kane’s corpse, and some other goodies.


The first day we intended to stop at 0600 eve time but ended up running until 0300. The stream peaked at 270 people and included CCP Karkur at one point. She asked what faction of toque to knit and I believe it was my influence that got her doing blood raiders.


I eventually had to give up and fell asleep. We started again at 2100 the next day. Unfortunately the donations closed at 2359, so we could only run for three hours on the second day. All said, however, we raised 116 billion isk, more than I’ve ever held in my life. We got 108 of it in to Chribba before the isk matching done by Amarr Citizen 155 closed, meaning the total amount of isk we generated was 224 billion.


It was a roaring success and has prompted me to carry on streaming. About two weeks ago I set a very loose schedule of Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and I’m reinvigorated to carry that on.


I’d like to thank my lovely wife Kay Hunt, Av Ra, and everyone that donated isk or items/services to auction or even that showed up and was a part of the community, keeping the momentum going. I intend to run this sort of event again the next time Plex4Good is running and I hope it will be even nearly the same level of success.


Thank you so much, everyone.


Hey everybody! I’m doing a suicide gank telethon on Friday and Saturday that will be a vehicle to donate to PLEX4Good, which goes towards the victims of Hurricane Haiyan.


How it works is this: I’m going to be streaming suicide ganks along with whatever friends or strangers want to show up and help for pretty much all my available free time on Friday and Saturday. I will be ganking a wide variety of targets from the traditional miners and freighters and autopiloting pods to less traditional stuff like HACs or logi or… well, anything, really. I’ll also be using a pretty wide variety of tools for the job. Traditional gank boats will be in great abundance, of course, but I’ll also be putting together things that I think will be entertaining, like gank coercers or caracals or the deliciously old-school gank tempest.


So, as a recap:


What: SuicideGank4Good!

Where: http://www.twitch.tv/sknk_monk

When: Friday 0100-0600 and Saturday 2100-0600

Why: All donations of isk or plex go to Hurricane Haiyan through the CCP Plex4Good program.

Also: I’ve got a couple celeb guests lined up so far and I’m looking for more to add to the schedule, as well I’m trying to arrange some neat stuff we could auction off to benefit the cause. I’m trying to get the CCP community team involved, too, with the hope that they can help make the event better.


If you want to help:

  1. Tune in hang out!
  2. Donate for Plex4Good!
  3. Come suicide ganking with us! Everyone is welcome and we have many members of the BU and NO suicide ganking communities lined up.
  4. Give us whatever ships you want to see be involved in suicide ganking. I will suicide gank with any ship you give me as long as there’s also a donation to Plex4Good involved.
  5. If you are a space celeb then come hang out for an hour or so and let the audience ask you questions and bask in your glow.
  6. If you have something that you think would be worth auctioning off for the cause then contact me and we’ll do that.


Dudes who won’t lift a finger to protect themselves and lots of murder

The forums had a usual sort of post the other day. Someone was asking in C&P to have some corp beat up what was clearly from the context of the post the New Order. New Order and BU are organizations that share many members and are like brothers to us, so I thought I might be able to pretend to be hired and take the guy’s money and laugh at him. Even if that didn’t work, I just had a hunch that I wouldn’t regret getting mixed up in this. So I convoed the guy.


[ 2013.11.14 01:14:29 ] Psychotic Monk > You wanted someone’s face smashed in?

[ 2013.11.14 01:14:30 ] Blazonry > hello

[ 2013.11.14 01:14:45 ] Psychotic Monk > Hi! :)

[ 2013.11.14 01:14:45 ] Blazonry > well, i didn’t quite put it like that

[ 2013.11.14 01:15:32 ] Blazonry > are you familiar with NEW ORDER DEATH DEALERS

[ 2013.11.14 01:15:41 ] Psychotic Monk > I’ve heard of them, yeah.

[ 2013.11.14 01:16:20 ] Psychotic Monk > Are they the ones you want hurt?

[ 2013.11.14 01:16:24 ] Blazonry > interesting BIO…

[ 2013.11.14 01:16:28 ] Blazonry > care to explain?

[ 2013.11.14 01:16:37 ] Psychotic Monk > What part in particular?

[ 2013.11.14 01:17:34 ] Blazonry > your war reports don’t look promising

[ 2013.11.14 01:17:48 ] Psychotic Monk > Oh, this corp? Nono, fuck that.

[ 2013.11.14 01:18:37 ] Psychotic Monk > This is just something I’ve got going. This isn’t my actual corp.

[ 2013.11.14 01:18:54 ] Psychotic Monk > http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=player&name=Psychotic+Monk

[ 2013.11.14 01:19:11 ] Psychotic Monk > Check that for a better idea of what I’m about.

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:02 ] Blazonry > interesting

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:22 ] Blazonry > I doubt you could do anything against CODE. though

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:32 ] Blazonry > they seem very set in their ways

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:33 ] Psychotic Monk > What makes you think so?

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:42 ] Blazonry > it’d take billions of isk and a lot of time to fend them off

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:51 ] Psychotic Monk > I have both those things.

[ 2013.11.14 01:20:59 ] Blazonry > i wouldn’t bother

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:00 ] Psychotic Monk > Also a lot of friends who have both those things.

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:08 ] Blazonry > they haven’t done anything to me directly

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:16 ] Blazonry > i just find them distasteful

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:21 ] Psychotic Monk > So you’re saying you no longer want them shit upon?

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:42 ] Blazonry > i don’t have 100 billion isk to spend having them war deced constantly

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:46 ] Blazonry > they’re station campers

[ 2013.11.14 01:21:56 ] Blazonry > it’ll take a hell of a lot of work to do anything

[ 2013.11.14 01:22:05 ] Psychotic Monk > Well what *is* your budget like?

[ 2013.11.14 01:22:29 ] Blazonry > forget about it man

[ 2013.11.14 01:22:36 ] Blazonry > if you want to have some fun, be my guest

[ 2013.11.14 01:22:44 ] Blazonry > but i’m not paying isk to have them sit in a station

[ 2013.11.14 01:22:46 ] Blazonry > no way

[ 2013.11.14 01:23:23 ] Psychotic Monk > There’s ways to kill them instead of just camping them in. There’s a ton of options.

[ 2013.11.14 01:23:50 ] Blazonry > why do so many people donate money to CODE? They have 100 billion isk

[ 2013.11.14 01:23:53 ] Blazonry > wish i had that much

[ 2013.11.14 01:23:57 ] Blazonry > the things i’d do!!!

[ 2013.11.14 01:24:12 ] Psychotic Monk > I’m not sure. I guess they’re just lucky.

[ 2013.11.14 01:29:25 ] Psychotic Monk > So you really don’t actually want to see them harmed at all, then?

[ 2013.11.14 01:29:29 ] Blazonry > i blame CCP for allowing 2013 punks to fit 750dps cats

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:24 ] Blazonry > i couldn’t care less what happens to them

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:28 ] Psychotic Monk > So rather than use all the wide world of tools avalible to you you’d rather just complain to CCP, then?

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:29 ] Blazonry > I’m just not paying for it

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:51 ] Blazonry > i won’t myself, no

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:54 ] Blazonry > and what tools?

[ 2013.11.14 01:30:59 ] Blazonry > they sit in the station all day

[ 2013.11.14 01:31:39 ] Psychotic Monk > If they sit in station all day then it doesn’t matter what ships then can fit and they’re not a problem to you at all. That’s as simple a fix as blocking them in chat.

[ 2013.11.14 01:32:06 ] Blazonry > they’re a problem when they sass talk in local and blow up neutral miners

[ 2013.11.14 01:32:43 ] Psychotic Monk > How do they blow up neutral miners if they just sit in station all day?

[ 2013.11.14 01:32:58 ] Blazonry > they leave for a brief moment

[ 2013.11.14 01:33:09 ] Blazonry > peform the gank, and then sit in their pod afterward

[ 2013.11.14 01:33:11 ] Psychotic Monk > And then you kill them or have them killed?

[ 2013.11.14 01:33:16 ] Blazonry > when an actual threat shows up they dock up

[ 2013.11.14 01:33:44 ] Psychotic Monk > Okay, so if you keep an actual threat there then they can’t possibly undock and blow up neutral miners, right?

[ 2013.11.14 01:34:01 ] Blazonry > no one can spend 24 hours watching them

[ 2013.11.14 01:34:11 ] Blazonry > we have lives to live outside of this game

[ 2013.11.14 01:34:58 ] Psychotic Monk > Sure, but you can at least keep them watched while you’re playing. That protects you and all the people who are also playing when you play, right?

[ 2013.11.14 01:35:04 ] Psychotic Monk > That seems like a really good start.

[ 2013.11.14 01:35:40 ] Blazonry > maybe someone should found an anti CODE alliance

[ 2013.11.14 01:35:46 ] Blazonry > i won’t get involved

[ 2013.11.14 01:36:02 ] Psychotic Monk > Oh, that seems like a really good idea! Why won’t you get involved?

[ 2013.11.14 01:36:19 ] Blazonry > wow

[ 2013.11.14 01:36:31 ] Psychotic Monk > wow?

[ 2013.11.14 01:36:42 ] Blazonry > could I get some peace and quiet now please??

[ 2013.11.14 01:37:04 ] Psychotic Monk > What? You came to C&P with a problem and I’m trying to help you solve it.

[ 2013.11.14 01:37:06 ] Psychotic Monk > That’s all.

[ 2013.11.14 01:37:13 ] Blazonry > you can’t

[ 2013.11.14 01:37:24 ] Blazonry > the problem is CCP and design the game to appeal to douchebags

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:01 ] Psychotic Monk > I don’t believe that I can’t. I believe that you and I have all the same tools as your aggressors do and if we’re cleverer and better than them we can defeat them.

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:26 ] Blazonry > i don’t want to…it’ll cost too much, and be tedious

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:30 ] Psychotic Monk > If we could find the right ways to do it we could probably even do it with much less effort then they expend on their thing.

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:53 ] Blazonry > i’ll think on this some more and contact you again in the future

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:54 ] Psychotic Monk > I’m not sure it’ll cost too much. Most wardecs only cost 50m isk per week, if that’s the way you want to go.

[ 2013.11.14 01:38:55 ] Blazonry > thanks

[ 2013.11.14 01:40:04 ] Psychotic Monk > I really feel like we could solve this with some small amount of actually doing something.

[ 2013.11.14 01:41:32 ] Blazonry > you have some interesting Decorations……

[ 2013.11.14 01:42:04 ] Blazonry > you’re not gay are you? or was that just a crass joke on the part of a previous employer?

[ 2013.11.14 01:42:06 ] Psychotic Monk > I do. I carry with me the evidence of excellent murder and mayham done.

[ 2013.11.14 01:42:46 ] Psychotic Monk > It was just someone mad at me who lashed out by calling me whatever name his red-hot furious brain was able to cook up at the time.

[ 2013.11.14 01:42:57 ] Blazonry > :) )

[ 2013.11.14 01:44:20 ] Psychotic Monk > So, I’d really like to help you solve your problem in some way. I feel like you’re above wallowing in victimhood. I think you and I could defeat this issue.

[ 2013.11.14 01:46:06 ] Blazonry > you’ve been involved in suicide ganking of miners…

[ 2013.11.14 01:47:01 ] Psychotic Monk > Indeed I have. That should be a useful perspective in fighting people doing that same thing.

[ 2013.11.14 01:47:23 ] Blazonry > Perspective in hypocrisy more like

[ 2013.11.14 01:47:27 ] Blazonry > i think i’ll pass

[ 2013.11.14 01:51:26 ] Psychotic Monk > Well, if you think that’s best, fine, but at least let me help you devise a plan to win.

[ 2013.11.14 01:52:39 ] Psychotic Monk > And advice I’ll always give out for free and you can run it by other people that you trust to make sure I’m not leading you astray.

[ 2013.11.14 01:53:06 ] Psychotic Monk > I just really feel like your problem is solvable but you don’t want to see it that way.

[ 2013.11.14 01:53:18 ] Psychotic Monk > I think you’re better than having to put up with these sorts of things.

[ 2013.11.14 01:53:50 ] Blazonry > you’re a master of persuasion

[ 2013.11.14 01:53:54 ] Blazonry > but it’s my bed time!

[ 2013.11.14 01:54:00 ] Blazonry > speak to you another time perhaps?

[ 2013.11.14 01:55:14 ] Psychotic Monk > Please do. One thing before you go to bed, thogh.

[ 2013.11.14 01:55:16 ] Psychotic Monk > *though

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:18 ] Blazonry > ?

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:22 ] Psychotic Monk > I’m not satisfied with your responses and I feel like you’re just going to wallow in self pity, not do anything, and whine for nerfs.

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:35 ] Psychotic Monk > That’s not a behaviour I like in this game, and so I’ll be wardeccing you.

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:38 ] Blazonry > self pity? I said I wasn’t a victim

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:46 ] Psychotic Monk > There. Dec’s in.

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:51 ] Blazonry > don’t be silly

[ 2013.11.14 01:56:54 ] Blazonry > this is a 1 man corp

[ 2013.11.14 01:57:01 ] Psychotic Monk > And yet.

[ 2013.11.14 01:57:10 ] Psychotic Monk > Dec’s already in.


So that was outstanding. No results have come of the wardec as of yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know if something cool happens.


A little later on that same night, I noticed Xuixien and some of his crew were on TS along with a person I didn’t recognize who thought spelling his name entirely with symbols was clever. I went to poke my nose in it and was so glad I did!


The guy was a multiboxing miner who owned multiple Orcas, Exhumers, Freighters and Golems. It was so good that I was absolutely sure that we were being trolled. Xuixien, the upstanding gentleman that he is, usually offers to transport someone’s stuff for them when they join his corp, but since there were multiple freighters in play the guy politely declined. He insisted, in fact, on not moving all his stuff tonight, but rather slowly over the course of several days.


We settled for hitting whatever we could, so we set up a fake mining op and waited the several hours for him to refit from ice miners to strip miners and laboriously plod his way over to us. It was very tedious. I gave up and went and watched cartoons.


Luckily, when I came back I was just in time! He was just setting a couple jumps out from our system and was bringing to the party seven skiffs and a charon. He also had an Orca, but he just docked that and we didn’t seem to want to bring it out. We didn’t think we were going to get any better than that, so with our new friend safely in a belt we warped some combat ships in and pointed everything. At this point I started streaming, which is apparently something I’m doing now. (SKNK_Monk is my username on twitch.tv if anyone wants to follow me)


Our friend did the usual bit of weaseling and Xuixien did what I think was his first voice-to-voice ransom negotiation, asking for about 1.5b to let all the ships go. Our friend was very intent on not doing that and really wanted to make some sort of half-now half-later arrangement. It was clear he wasn’t going to budge.


The stream was ready for blood at this point, but we thought we could get some actual cash from him. I have a principle where I will accept any ransom counter-offer under the logic that people will often try to throw good money after bad money trying to get out of a net loss situation. We accepted 750m from him and then, rather than letting him go as he expected, demanded the other 750m. It took a little time, but he gave us the full amount.


I gave him a bit of a lecture on what he could have done to save himself, but he didn’t want any of it, talking over me to tell me that he was quitting the game because of a combination of our actions and a wardec he had recently suffered.


Finally, we shoveled some coal into the murder machine and with slow but inevitable bone-crunching teeth the Skiffs began to die. Our friend logged off just as the first one did. Seeing an opportunity for to finish off the pods, who had a combat timer but were emergency-warping out, we called in a friend with a prober and had an executioner mop them up.


Between the kills and the ransom, we did something to the tune of 5+ b worth of damage to him that day.


Have a big pile of killmails about it. If I missed one, my apologies.


















Presenting a new project: BU Ganking

BU is an organization that does many flavours of evil deed, but the thing that is much less common than you might think among us is the good old fashioned suicide gank. We have a couple really solid suicide gankers, but it’s not something the average belligerent is into. So after I had to pass on a very expensive Mach gank because of lack of shooters, pillar of the community Perseus Parker mulled it around and hit on a solution.


I’d like to present you fine people of the internet with the mail that is about to stand up our suicide gank wing, headed by Perseus Parker, organized under the channel BU ‘Ganking’. The intent is to have Tornado pilot available to hit expensive targets, plus the odd bit of ganks for fun in between.


Hey guys,


Had a play around with some maths regarding dual character training and found something v. interesting. If you think it’s worthwhile, could be fun to encourage it as a BU training investment for future ganks seeing as we had limited availability getting nado’s last time.


The maths all checks out on this as far as I’m aware, but double check to make sure:




1) open new character (minmatar) on an already existing account and activate dual character training for 1 plex (~600mil investment)

2) immediately train cybernetics to I.

3) plug in basic +3 perception and willpower implants and remap to perception/willpower immediately

4) Train the following:


Min Frig III

Min Dessie III

Min Cruiser III

Min Battlecruiser I

Gunnery V

Medium Projectile III

Large Projectile I

Motion Prediciton III

Surgical Strike IV

Weapon Upgrades IV

Trajectory Analysis II

Long Range Targeting I

Power Grid Management IV

Large Projectile IV


The following alpha calculations are all assuming no implants on the following fit: Basic Nado 30d train

No further training: 9606 RF EMP (under 15d total training)

Training Surgical Strike V: 9864 RF EMP (just under 30d total training)

Training Large Projectile V: 10007 RF EMP (maybe just over 30d total training)

Traing both to V: 10275 RF EMP (would take two dual training plexes and you’d be better off investing in a new account for it)


Training Surgical Strike V will definitely fall within the 30 day training time frame, whereas Large Projectile V may require pausing training on a main to finish it off (2 day max lost training on main).



I’m proposing that these can be trained as an alt on every account and we can start ripping up some incursion bears who seem to think they’re invincible.


They’re not ideal in terms of tracking/lock speed etc, but can be finished up with a few days of training sacrifice on a main character.


Let me know your thoughts, and if you’ve got any questions give me a shout. Also made the channel ‘BU Ganking’ if we want to organise this shit in the future. Can make it private if we want?






So if you want in on this you can use the above plan for a 30d gank tornado or you can use an already skilled main. Hop into the channel ‘BU Ganking’ and maybe drop a mail or a convo to Perseus Parker telling him that you’re in. Other gank ships are also totally usable, but the standard here is a Tornado.


For a reminder about some of the things that we will be able to murder, check out a post I made about this a while back:




Also, as a side note, as it stands right now, using sec status tags you can keep a workable sec status for the low cost of 13m isk per gank.

How I got started

I wasn’t always in the profession I’m in now.  At one point, I was just enthralled with a space game without really realizing the options that were open to me.  So I did what thousands of people had done before.  I formed a corp of me and two friends, and joined an alliance.

This was a terrible idea.

We spent a week or two in the alliance, and quickly grew sick of the alliance leader, a dude named Broken Flames. He was an obnoxious loudmouth and claimed to be a decorated sniper. Among his claims were the fact that he didn’t have to finish basic training before getting sent to sniper school, and that he had been injured in combat somewhere in Kuwait, near the border of Afghanistan. As two ex-soldiers, we were insulted.

Eventually we started raising some drama about it in alliance chat, calling him out. He eventually kicked our corp from the alliance for it. We proceeded to wardec him because we were mad.  We had absolutely no idea what we were doing, but I had bought a couple PLEX and I was ready to spend a bunch of time figuring out anything we could do to hurt this guy.

For the next week or so I harassed them every chance I got. I got very few kills (although I did kill a Cruor which I was proud of) but caused a defensive response every time and I spent a lot of time on grid with them getting their Drake gang to try and pin down my Dramiel.

The main corp in the alliance owned a wormhole, so when defense action was called for, members would start to trickle out of the wormhole. Every day that week, Andrei, my co-conspirator in this, would run locators on people he knew to be in the wormhole, looking for people who had just appeared in space. After many days of this routine, we found the wormhole they owned.

I waited until everyone was sleeping and snuck in a POS tower. I placed it so that there was no way that both my tower and their tower would be on dscan at the same time and named my tower exactly the same as theirs. To a casual observer, they would see my tower on dscan and think nothing of it. This lasted a couple days and before they tracked it down and assaulted it. I logged on to see the guns had already been incapped, and a gang of Ravens, Navy Scorpions and Tengus were shooting it. Andrei was out of town, so it was literally just me in a Sabre against them.

So I did what anyone who’s wildly outgunned but has already decided to spend some money hurting someone might do.  I went to the Merc Contracts channel.  I contacted Chitsa Jason, who is still a pillar of the wormhole community and was at the time in charge of Narwhals Ate My Duck, who were a group of very solid wormhole mercs.  I let them know where they could find the incoming wormhole, and I sat on the inside of the POS bubble in a Saber staring at this gang shooting my defenseless tower.

The enemy gang thought they had me properly fucked, and were just doing a congo-line about 15k from the shields being smug.  Narwhals piped up that they were in position, so I nosed out the Saber and dropped a bubble, working my damnedest to get back into the shield before they noticed and murdered my face.  Narwhals landed a gang of legions and whatever armor HACs were popular just then and murdered the piss out of my enemies for me.  And then, just like that, they were gone again with some killmails and a couple hundred mil in their pockets.

Afterwards, Broken Flames contacted me and asked what my terms were to end my campaign against them. I told him to evacuate the wormhole and come clean about his service record. He did, admitting that he was just a reservist with the American army and had never been anywhere or done anything.  He also tore down his POSs and self-destructed a pair of carriers on the way out of the hole.

A couple weeks after that, the alliance was an empty shell, and I choose to believe that I was a major cause of that.  I had no interest in wormholes, so after keeping an alt in there just long enough to be reasonably certain it was properly abandoned, I left it as well.

With that first taste of non-conventional victory, including my time in a Dramiel outrunning and trying to fight a gang of Drakes, and even including the fact that someone else did the heavy lifting for me at the end, I decided I couldn’t ever go back to regular gameplay.  From there, I formed a wardec corp and eventually moved on to all sorts of other mayham.

Back to back Golem murder!

Xuixien is a strong up-and-coming belligerent undesirable who has been doing good work with safaris and the like lately. He’d been complaining lately that he wasn’t good at ransoms and whatnot and was getting a bit broke. The tools to do the work can be very cheap, but some small amount of income is still needed. I suggested to him that he do some reverse safaris for cash and a change of pace and he took the advice to heart.


So I logged on yesterday to hear that Xuixien had won a bit of a victory and gotten someone to join his corp and given him all the things of any value that he had in order to be moved to his supposed new home system. He was ecstatic that the total value of the loot seemed to be somewhere in the vicinity of 4b isk. That’s a good take for an hour or so of talking if you ask me, and he was just the right combination of talented and lucky to be the man to take advantage of the situation.


The victim still didn’t know that he’d already been defeated, though, and Xuixien asked my advice on how to capitalize on the situation. We got our new friend in TS to see what there still was to accomplish. I asked him for some API keys, which he took a little time, since we had to explain to the 2008 player what an API key was and how to make one. Eventually we found that what he had left to his name was 327m isk and a Golem.


Naturally, we invited him to come missioning with us.


We get a couple friends into corp to make the face-stabbing a community event and had our new friend warp to us in his Golem. Despite being in largely frigates and the like, our team melted the Golem quite quickly, stopping only in structure for a ransom negotiation. We asked for 327m to keep his ship. Remembering that we were also holding all of his stuff he asked if we had stolen that. We told him that of course we hasn’t, as we deal in violence, not theft. Believing that playing nice was the way to both keep his ship and get his stuff back, he paid. Remembering the maxim of the hero of our trade, Paul Clavet, we murdered him anyways with an exclamation of Suddenly Betrayal.


I won’t provide the killmail so as not to draw attention to the reverse safari corp, but the Golem was a fairly basic fit with only a bit of bling, about 300m of which dropped.


I didn’t get to participate in the actual murder myself, but I’m happy to help get a Golem killed any way I can.


All said and done, total take from the job was roughly 4.6b.


With that in the bag, I smugged my way through a delicious dinner and sat back down to spam and lightly troll recruitment.


To my surprise, someone invited me to their brand new corp. I, of course, accepted. There were four people online when I joined corp, and none of them were showing in space. I decided to bide my time watching netflix and playing minecraft. I checked back occationally and eventually found myself online with only one other person.


I checked out the fellow stuck in this little cage with me and saw that he had a 5.0 sec status and was in space in a popular mission hub. I grabbed something with some serious neuts on it and wandered over towards him.


Just as I arrived in system he cross-jumped me in a Golem. At this point, he’s seen me in a Bhaalgorn, so when I asked him if he’d like help with his mission he should have been very suspicious. He wasn’t.


We fleeted up and I warped to him only to find him in the middle of a very large group of hostile NPCs. This isn’t something that typically bothers me too much, but a couple of them were warp-scrambling frigs, and I wasn’t really in a position to deal with those. I could most certainly kill him, but I had to do it before I got scrambled, otherwise I would find myself maybe pecked to death by ducks.


I threw the neuts on him and hardly paused the time it took for him to affirm that he would not pay a ransom. This was the awnser I was looking for. I was already aligned when I mashed the button to do the murder work and tried to get out of there before the scrambling rats that were on him switched on to me after his death.


He exploded and I hit warp. It was only as I was safely in warp that I thought to smug about the killmail and realized I hadn’t picked up the loot! Kicking myself, I opened the mail.




The better part of a billion isk dropped and I left it behind.


As before, though, Golems are a joy to kill, and I got to kill two in a day, which is a rare occurance, so I’ll have to console myself with that.